Skip to main content

New cockin'

When an ex-girlfriend begins a new relationship.
I ran into Jennifer on the street the other day.' 'She new cockin'?' 'Yeah, I heard she is seeing some guy.
by calzon chino July 21, 2011
mugGet the New cockin' mug.

YouTube News

"YouTube news" is another way of saying "old news" or "I already heard about it". If someone tells you something that you have already heard about, you can respond by saying "YouTube news".

This phrase communicates that, like news that spreads throughout the universe very quickly via YouTube, you have already heard about it. It takes 5 minutes for new news to mature into YouTube news (aka old news).

Thanks to YouTube (and texting), news gets old really fast. YouTube news is new news that is already old. However, YouTube news does not have to refer to things that are ACTUALLY on YouTube. "You Tube news" usually refers to things that only matter to you, your personal friends, and the fake friends you have on facebook.

HOW TO USE THE PHRASE:

You usually just say, "YouTube news" without any other words accompanying the phrase. The words "YouTube news" explain exactly what you mean all by themselves.

If it has been 5 minutes since an event, there is a 99.9% chance that EVERYONE who could possibly give a shit about it already knows every damn detail (thanks to texting). Consequentially, the phrase "It's been 5 minutes" can be used in conjunction with the phrase "YouTube news".
EXAMPLE 1:

MARY: Guess what! Johnny and I got engaged!

BILLY: YouTube news.

MARY: But he only proposed 5 minutes ago.

BILLY: Yeah, I know.

EXAMPLE 2:

JILL: You're never going to believe this: Heather's car broke down in the middle of the Siberian tundra and she almost froze to death.

BOBBY: YouTube news. It's been 5 minutes.

EXAMPLE 3:

MARK: Dude, I spilled my coffee on an old lady and she burned to death.

JOHN: It's been 5 minutes. Already heard about it.

MARK: Damn YouTube news.

EXAMPLE 4:

OSCAR: Hey man, you're never going to believe this! I got a call from... oh yeah, it's been 5 minutes. You already know about it.

JACK: Yeah, YouTube news.
by jackette55 July 23, 2011
mugGet the YouTube News mug.

Chinese New Year

when a man ties 10 Fireworks to his genitals and sets them off
Keven Pirera loves to throw his nuts a Chinese new year
by Xero42 June 16, 2011
mugGet the Chinese New Year mug.

new jersey lamppost

your by a lamppost,you unscrew the bulb and sick your dick in side and enjoy the electrical shock..........and live
man: hey man watch this (sticks dick in socket and lives)

friend: woah that was the new jersey lamppost
by boba joe boba joe June 23, 2011
mugGet the new jersey lamppost mug.

Taylor New

An unbelievably sexxy girl. She looks good enough to be a model and drives all the guys crazzzzyyy. She has bright blue eyes and an amazing body ;) She's also one of the most fun and craziest girls youll meet.
"Did you go to frightland land last night?"

"Yea i went with a Taylor New and it was amazing!"
by RiRi29 August 25, 2011
mugGet the Taylor New mug.

Got the new sour ?

A saying that is used to ask someone if they have sucked someones dick.
Because semen tastes very very sour, and it's flavor is called "new sour".
How did your date go? Got the new sour ?
by Judge dredd7 September 10, 2011
mugGet the Got the new sour ? mug.

News Bae

I'm sorry. I can't resist. You seem fine now so...

Hym *Deeeeeep inhale* "Hooo! You don't believe in ANY sort of moral equivalence under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE because your conceptualization of morality is entirely binary! There is only 'Doing what "God" said' and 'Immorality,' to you. You, in your own mind, have a monopoly on morality. I don't know about him but probably THAT EXACT AMOUNT of victimization. I was right on the edge with the retard sex cult and weaponized schizophrenia, so, yeah probably about that exact amount. 4 hours of electricity a day, no clean drinking water, and Israel has DIRECT CONTROL of access to food, water, and electricity and can turn it off at a whim. Which is why is doesn't fucking matter that the Jews haven't physically gone to Gaza since 2005 because they don't need to physically need to be there to have a direct effect on the quality of life from Palestinians. To what degree is their quality of life contingent upon cooperation from Israel that they are not receiving?
The per capita is irrelevant. It isn't fucking worse than 9/11. 700 people is 700 people and 3000 people is 3000 people. Claiming that it's impossible to avoid killing kids or that you're trying really hard not to seems like a pretty convenient way of giving yourself license to kill kids while maintaining the ability to claim moral superiority. 100 of them now, in Gaza. And counting. It's just like the Bud light thing. You actively lead a boycott against them. And then BLAME THEM for YOU boycotting them. What you fail to grasp is that the value of your women and kids lives are contingent the value of the lives of other people... To you. If your kids were dying of thirst. You would help them. So. If you're not going to help the Palestinians. They are probably going to kill your kids. What do you expect them to do? Sit there and wait patiently to- Oh! Right... That's exactly what you expect then to do... Well... That's not really how the world works. (And I only go beaten to the punch on this one because I was holding back for news bae)"
by Hym Iam October 11, 2023
mugGet the News Bae mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email