Smuggling hams

When a girl with perfect buttcheeks wears leggings or tights, making it seem like she’s smuggling two hams in her pants.

Christina got searched during her layover in Saudi Arabia because security suspected she was smuggling hams, but it was just her dump truck cheeks from squatting, doing clam shells and using the stair master 98 percent of her time in the gym.

by Tony Uncle Johnny February 20, 2021

ham fountain

Sit backwards on a woman's face while you jerk off on her tits.

She was blown away when I showed her my amazing ham fountain!

by anonymous June 12, 2016

Glass Ham

Pressing your ass cheeks against a steamy, glass shower door.

I was lied in the bathroom to piss and my uncle was showering and gave me the glass ham.

by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020

Ham Master

The man or woman with extreme skills cooking a piggy. Legendary bacon skills indeed. A pineapple ham extremist of sorts. Ham Masters are very valuable to social functions.

Yo Jeev, I am planning a barbecue of epic proportions, is there any chance you could get us a ham master? I am looking to impress!

by pooter diddler May 9, 2015

ham night

It's that thing where you throw a party, but you live in America - so all your guests are overweight and your air conditioning isn't keeping up as everyone is basted in their own juices.

Things really turned for the worst when someone brought up politics at our Ham Night.

by DarkDiggler June 3, 2020

Glazing the Ham

When you are at a relatives house for Thanksgiving and you have to sneak in a jerk-off session. It is a delicate situation and requires the skill of a true perv.

At Thanksgiving dinner this year I got caught glazing the ham by my grandmother.

by Urban douche November 30, 2010

Plate of Ham

Cockney Rhyming Slang for Gam, a now defunct term to mean oral sex, specifically that performed on a willy (blowjob).

"Fancy a plate of ham?"
"No thanks, I don't eat meat."

by peckhamboi January 15, 2009