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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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Helena

A brown-skin girl who is intelligent, beautiful and athletic. Helena’s excel in topics such as languages, maths and sprinting. Girls named Helena are leng and receive a lot of attention. Usually Helena’s grow up to be successful and beautiful women in society.
Person 1: “yoooo, that girl is pengggg!”
Person 2: “Cause it’s Helena init”
by Hehe😎 August 22, 2018
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Helen

she cool, she's not ugly she's just hideous that all, she likes turtles and uses plastic straws.she funny as fuck. she my best fren. and she's Mexican which makes her hilarious
"Helen is so funny." "this party would've been lit if Helen was here."
by obesa December 19, 2019
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Helena

An old woman who thinks she is young
Wow you are old helena
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cheesey helmet

same as nobcheese but less rude
man i gota clean out this cheesey helmet of mine
by Pazzy Bee May 13, 2005
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you need a helmet

a phrase which questions ones mental capacity and/or sobriety. synonomous to "you're retarded." or "you're wasted."
person 1: "is the reason ground beef brown because it comes from the ground?"
person 2: "you need a helmet."
by pr1cklygoo January 4, 2010
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Mount Saint Helen

This sex act is highly contagious. It involves seducing a nun with two men. Both of these will feed the nun with cheesy gordita crunches laced with laxatives. Afterwards, the two men will pour chili down the nun's ass and proceed to ass fuck her. Soon, she will not feel good as her stomach starts to ache and this is when you should prepare for eruption. The two men lay below the nun and the nun finally let's out the biggest, bloodiest shit, erupting onto the mens' face while proceeding to announce verses from the bible. This sex act reenacts the Mt St Helen eruption in 1980. This sex act is highly encouraged as you become closer to god and understand the full capability of a volcanic eruption.
Hey man. You wouldn't believe what sister Lisa let Dan and I do. She let us try a Mount Saint Helen on her.
by Damnstr8mmmmm November 15, 2017
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