Monster Wank

When men form a circle around one chicken and all masterbate until they all blow their load on her.

And she will be standing there dripping in semen. Classy

"Molly you're in my £70 dress"
"Good, I'll get the lads at the party to monster wank on it"

by Eleanor Hubbard August 3, 2014

Wank fuckup

When you're watching porn, however pre orgasim, your hand either changes or loses grip or the video changes to a shit part. After orgasim you regret that you did so as you feel you have wasted an opportunity.

I hate it when you Wank fuckup, it's so annoying!

by i'mlikeheywhatsuphello November 18, 2015

Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

posh wank

To masturbate whilst wearing a condom. Hence, to posh to clean up after yourself!

He was having a posh wank.

by Flaps March 4, 2003

Guilt wank

The feeling of guilt when you have finished masturbating over an ugly person.
Also applying to masturbation over ugly pornographic material (e.g. fat woman).

When you are feeling seriously horny and you think it is acceptable to choose a random person to masturbate over. Either whilst looking at one of their photographs or texting/ chatting to them online. Only to realize shortly after you've exploded that they are fuck ugly, and you've just made the biggest mistake of your life. You have fallen victim to a 'guilt wank'.

by tommy13 April 9, 2011

wank fodder

Someone very attractive, that implies they are masturbated over.

That chick is some SERIOUS wank fodder.

by Barney Boo February 5, 2005

Facebook wank

When you log on to facebook, the first girl you see that has updated their status, you open up a picture of her and have a wank.

"I had a facebook wank last night!"
"What's that?"
"I logged on, saw Sarah at the top of list opened up a picture of her and had a wank!"
"Sounds good!"

by Jimmy Peters December 24, 2008