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Jack Off Day

Jack Off day is on the 5th August each day.

Originally coined when an employee added to his calendar that 4th of August was 'Jack Off' day.

Jack off day is a special day of each year that brings joy and happiness to all that follow it. The real magic in Jack Off day is those who do not know about it wouldn't suspect a thing going on.

Followers of twitter tend to tweet with the tag:
#jackoffday2010
#jackoffday2011
etc
So you know who they are...
Ben: Andy seems strangely normal today
Lloyd: Yeah I believe he's celebrating something called Jack Off day
Ben: ...yeah, whatever that is
Andy: *inner joy*
by brightpearl August 5, 2010
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Captain Jack Sparrow

A drink consisting of Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan. This night will eventually end up with you looking for your Black Pearl, yarring most of the time and walking as if you had a wooden leg.
Guaranteed loss of sight, eye patch or not.
- Would you like a Captain Jack Sparrow?
- No thanks. Last time I woke up with a tribe in the Caribbeans.
by aram_j June 23, 2011
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jack bauer

Head of field operations for CTU on fox's 24, Now special assistant to the secretary of state Heller. Two words- BAD ASS
My name is jack bauer and i am a federal agent! Now put your hands behind your fucking head!
by robrob24 January 28, 2005
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jack the ripper

The nickname given to an unknown serial killer who killed five women in the Whitechapel section of the East End of London from August 31 to November 9, 1888. The killer was given this nickname because a knife was used to cut the victims throats and mutilate their abdomens. To this day, nobody knows the identity of the killer, since nobody saw or heard anything suspicious.

By today's standards, the Ripper murders would barely make headlines; a faceless lust killer murdering five streetwalkers in a huge slum that's already swarming with criminals and lowlifes. 55% of children were dead before age five; outhouses, clogged sewers, slaughterhouses, and horse-drawn buggies ensured that the filth and stench; overcrowding in crumbling buildings and low job prospects ensured that whole families were homeless; drinking and fights were rampant, and many people were missing teeth or had black eyes. Many women were forced to sell themselves as a sure way of supporting themselves and feeding their children, even if it meant going off to secluded nooks with six or seven strange (and potentially dangerous) men each day.

Contrary to the popular (romanticized) image of a black-caped figure in a top-hat, the victims were last seen with very nondescript, working-class men; the Ripper would most certainly have been caught had he worn the cape and top-hat.

There have been many theories as to who did this and there have been numerous urban legends (even the Royal Family was not spared the rumors), although most of these stories are certainly false.
While Jack the Ripper has gone down in history as the star of history's great whodunnit, few people remember the victims:

-Mary Ann "Polly" Nichols, found at 3:45 AM, August 31, 1888, age 43. Mother of five, three of whom were grown at the time. Separated from her husband, whom she left because of his affair during her fifth pregancy, Polly became caught in the downward spiral of drinking and prostitution. Polly was a homeless alcoholic during her last days and was last seen trying to secure money to pay for a bed at her lodging house.

-Annie Chapman, found at 6 AM, September 8, 1888, age 47. Mother of three, one of whom was born crippled, another dead at the age of twelve in 1882. Annie and her husband, while originally lower middle-class, took to drinking from the stresses around their children and separated after falling into poverty. His death in 1886 was a death-blow to her will to live. By her death, Annie was malnourished, homeless, and suffering from tuberculosis and syphillis.

-Elizabeth "Long Liz" Stride, found at 1 AM, September 30, 1888, age 45. She had separated from a husband in 1881 and had a troubled common-law marriage with a dock worker at her death.

-Catherine "Kate" Eddowes, found at 1:45 AM, September 30, 1888, age 46. Mother of three grown children. Separated from her first common-law husband, she was living quite happily with her second, going from doss house to doss house. An intelligent, bubbly woman, her last night was spent sleeping off the drink in a local jail until the police released her at 1 AM.

-Mary Jane Kelly, aka "Ginger" or "Fair Emma", found at 10:45 AM, Novemeber 9, 1888, age 25. The youngest victim and the only victim to be killed indoors, she had a ground-floor flat and allowed her homeless friends to spend the night there, although she and her boyfriend had recently broken up for just that reason. Originally worked in a high-class brothel in the West End of London, but somehow fell to the slums of the East End.
by Lorelili May 5, 2009
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Jack Tooze Joke

A really bad joke, that is usually so bad it is funny.
Named so, because of the terrible jokes Jack Tooze comes up with on a regular basis.
"What do you call a cat crossed with a dog? A CATDOG!"

"Man, that is such a Jack Tooze joke."
by Audwald February 14, 2009
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jack and coke

An alcoholic drink. jack daniels wiskey and coke.
bartender, i'll have a jake and coke.
by Dirt Demon April 30, 2005
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snarf the jackal

when one penetrates another persons bunghole by use of tongue, also known as tossing the salad. to snarf is to penetrate with tongue; jackal is the anus.

alternatively: one may also use one portion of the term to describe itself. for example, "i'm snarfing this ice-cream." or "man is my jackal itchy."
"hey man did you snarf the jackal?"

"yeah dude, after i went down on her, i totally snarfed the jackal."
by galactusslap January 20, 2009
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