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john funk

a very self absorbed femboy twink, a knee slapper, a self proclaimed man , a comedian, a gigolo, his intro song is “i aint got nobody (just a gigolo) by louis prima”. money getting, hes a grinderrr oh oh oh ohhh he get money fr oh oh oh oh ohh, likes to slap tf out hoes if out of line, he spreads the love alll arounddd, the one and only big nasty, he likes to feather his mullet, does roids on a daily basis and ends up getting hemorrhoids from the strong strain, unleashes the most diabolical, unhinged, life taking, nose hair burning farts ever. also shits himself alot bc of the strain and pressure of the farts.
“yoo is that john funk?” “yeah bro i heard he got the gnarliest farts ever man”

*farts*

*burns nose hairs off*

“damm nigga chill out u pullin a john funk w those farts”

*looking in the mirror w self obsession*
“aye bro u ever gonna leave the mirror alone?”
“nah im the fairest of them all the mirror said so”
by jim bithell March 10, 2025
mugGet the john funkmug.

askew john

A Sloppy Joe sandwich with caviar added on top.
"Our stimulus checks came in! You know what that means!"
"What? Askew Johns?"
"You're damn right! Break out the caviar!"
by Hotdogwatericecream December 5, 2022
mugGet the askew johnmug.

Papa Johns Man

A racist former owner of Papa Johns, who is insane.
by Guy who works at Denny's December 9, 2019
mugGet the Papa Johns Manmug.

john

A stupid asshole who ditches someone ,whom they’ve been friends with for years, for a group of friends he just met through an old friend. He’s someone who thinks he’s better than everyone and has the right to make people feel worthless. He’ll be a great friend at one point but in a blink of an eye he’ll just avoid and ignore you until he has no one else to hang out with.

Fuck you and I hope you end up alone.
“Omg I’m so sorry I ditched you I was pulling a John.”
by Smartcrazylady November 22, 2023
mugGet the johnmug.

John Fetterman

To pull a “John Fetterman” means to wear casual clothes to a formal event where everyone is wearing formal clothes. A “John Fetterman” is a person who comes to formal events wearing casual clothes. Someone who comes wearing casual clothes to weddings, conferences, galas, funerals, receptions, etc. is a “John Fetterman”. Plural form of "John Fetterman" will be "John Fettermen".
At the black-tie charity gala, everyone was dressed to the nines except for Mark, who showed up in a hoodie and jeans — he totally pulled a John Fetterman!

When Sarah showed up to the wedding in sneakers and a flannel shirt, everyone whispered that she was a John Fetterman.
by Truman33 January 22, 2025
mugGet the John Fettermanmug.

John

Greedy Little Bastard that lies to his mom and uses his friends for money and is Horny
Hey John
Your using me for money
um i bought you 50 bucks woth of playstation fuck head
by dgffgdfgdfgdfgfd June 15, 2022
mugGet the Johnmug.

Ethan John

Everyone's favourite man. Ethan John is caring, thoughtful, sensitive, and will always be there for you. He's adventurous and enjoys nature. If you ever want a random fact, ask Ethan John, for he will always provide an interesting and maybe not so relevant fact! When it comes to animals and crazy creatures you've never heard of, there he is, with everything you need to know.

He's grounded and handsome, strong and hard working. He'd go through a lot to help you, and in his selflessness, he'll cast all of his problems completely to the side for your sake. He's an incredible man, and definitely one in a million!
Girl I: "Oh my word, is that Ethan John??"
Girl 2: "Yeah yo, and he's mine!!"
by Fellybeemanloveroohahh January 31, 2023
mugGet the Ethan Johnmug.

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