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Spit-Shine the Old Water Pump

Male Masturbation

The act of stroking one's own penis.
My girlfriend is on the rag so I had to go spit-shine the old water pump.
by Penny Man August 4, 2008
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Turd pump

(noun) - the action or systems necessary to compensate for a work environment in which authority to resolve a problem is chronically pushed up to the apex of an organization and accountability for having the problem solved is pushed down to the organization's lowest-ranking members.

Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.

Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Example 1: In a restaurant, the servers are made responsible for customer satisfaction but are denied the authority to order the kitchen to reheat cold food. One turd-pump method is to ask the waitress who is sleeping with the manager to take the food back to the kitchen for reheat.

Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.

Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.

Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 1, 2010
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The male reproductive organ which is often refered to as the penis, wang, cock, dick, knob
dont make me cap you with my single barreled pump action protein rifle
by Andy July 25, 2004
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pumpkin patch

A cluster of overly-tanned or fake-tanned people who never leave the cluster
Check out that pumpkin patch all the way at the top of the bleachers
by jess86 May 27, 2007
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Pumper

One who removes an arm from a long sleeved shirt whilst grabbing the empty sleeve with his other hand and making a pumping motion with it. The removed arm remains underneath the shirt and is used to thrust through the hole created between the two sleeves.

Pumpers often travel in packs and exclusively listen to KRAT

Pumpers rarely pump it down low, they mostly try to pump it up.
Look at the action he gets when he pumps in that sweatshirt, that guy is a pro pumper, no doubt about it...
by Tommy PP ROOSTER July 20, 2009
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two pump chump

A male who prematurely ejaculates
"Dave M, is such a two pump chump. that he blows his load before he even see the gold,"
by Spanish Lighting September 28, 2009
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Pimpkin

A small midgety-type pimp with a Pumpkin head.
Pumpkin + Pimp = Pimpkin
Originated In Nottingham
Man: Yo bled, check the little pimkin
Pimpkin: Who yo spittin on fool
Man: lol You silly Pimpkin
*Pimpkin Smacks Man*
by Jay_co June 11, 2005
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