Frustrated_Monolingual's definitions
(noun) - a legal service in which the nature of the work being performed, such as patent prosecution or document review, discourages contact with other human beings and alienates the worker from the broader legal context of the transaction for which the work is being performed.
Sally, who could have avoided her current fate by shagging one of her firm's partners while she was still young and hot, thought that going to biglaw would mean glamorous jury arguments, but her resume is now worthless, because she's been doing nothing but cavelaw for three years as she typed up summaries of documents for month after month.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 13, 2009
Get the Cavelawmug. (noun) - an asymmetrical business arrangement, usually in employment, where the risks of loss are concentrated on the employee to ensure that the employee has guaranteed losses on any business reversals and contingent returns on any positive developments.
You have mountains of downside equity in that contract. The partners can deduct from your paycheck to make you eat the cost of delays that the partners exclusively control. They can swallow your commission if their client doesn't pay. They can even recapture from your future salary any underpayment with the negative carry-forward that they've imposed. On the whole, you're just a sharecropper with a JD.
by Frustrated_Monolingual December 1, 2010
Get the Downside equitymug. (noun) - A (typically highly educated) professional working in the United States due to scarce technical skills and in spite of a a deeply Limited English Proficiency (LEP). This is a very common malady in technology companies, university science and engineering departments, and government agencies that import significant portions of their workforce
Our electrical engineering department is just full of LEPers. Nice guys, and you can get lectures in circuit theory in any of 5 dozen asian languages, but there isn't a damn one of them that can hang together two English sentences.
by Frustrated_Monolingual August 4, 2009
Get the LEPermug. ESD - publicly acceptable shorthand for the sentence, "Eat shit and die." Commonly followed by a proper noun of address. Typically used in situations where the word shit is not allowed to be used, or where the available number of display characters is limited, e.g. license plates and public signs.
Mr. Jones, I want you to go into the lounge of the common area at Walton Hall tonight and write on the chalkboard, "ESDW. XOXO, H."
by Frustrated_Monolingual December 31, 2009
Get the ESDmug. (noun) - the action or systems necessary to compensate for a work environment in which authority to resolve a problem is chronically pushed up to the apex of an organization and accountability for having the problem solved is pushed down to the organization's lowest-ranking members.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Example 1: In a restaurant, the servers are made responsible for customer satisfaction but are denied the authority to order the kitchen to reheat cold food. One turd-pump method is to ask the waitress who is sleeping with the manager to take the food back to the kitchen for reheat.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 1, 2010
Get the Turd pumpmug. The five of us had a spontaneous conspiration, when we realized that each of us knew that two of the four owners were fucking headcases and we had to help each other find parachutes before the plane went into the drink.
by Frustrated_Monolingual March 15, 2011
Get the Conspirationmug. (noun) - a turd delivered, due to the expectation of its raw heinousness, on the bathroom of another floor in your office building.
Yeah, Ben thinks he's cutting a stealthturd on 3rd floor every week. What he doesn't know is that the receptionist on the other side of the wall can hear him grunting.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 11, 2009
Get the Stealthturdmug.