Touch The Monkey

A phrase coined by Mike Myers in the Saturday Night Live skit, "Sprockets". It can either mean
a) To literally touch a monkey.
b) To masturbate.

a) I was at the zoo and I decided to touch the monkey.
b) I got really lonely and bored so I touched the monkey.

by Justin1552 October 13, 2008

touche bag

n. sack or sports bag purpose-built to carry fencing swords, mask, uniform etc.

Excusez-moi. Has madamoiselle seen my touche bag magnifique?

Mais non! Nor do I wish to see it!

Perhaps madamoiselle understands not. La touche bag is something I slide over my sword to keep it clean.

by gnostic1 July 16, 2011

soft touch

the act of manual stimulation, sometimes oral sex, by a provider at a massage parlor... think happy ending

My masseuse really earned her tip with that soft touch!

by ginneed June 7, 2011

touching sock

Used to describe a situation that has progressed way beyond touching cloth.

You know it's too late when you're touching sock!

by Crash Raindog January 21, 2004

Touching Cotton

When you have to have to take a dump really bad and it's already starting to come out. That's when you're "touching cotton".

Sometimes referred to as "crowning".

I've really gotta go, I'm "touching cotton".

also

I've gotta torque a moon fish bad, I'm "touching cotton".

by Mental Midget November 15, 2003

love and touch

Your lady on the side. A mistress. Your down low woman. Unlike a wife or girlfriend, all she ever wants to do is love and touch you.

Major League Player: Gisele is my love and Touch.

Leo: I am mortified. Damn you, Flavor Flav!

by major_delmac March 1, 2005

touch basis

to masterbate.

i gotta go home and touch basis before i go out tonight.

by yajohnson August 21, 2009