Floppy snail

Someone who has a small ugly penis that is unable get erect.

Person 1: ... And they had a floppy snail.
Person 2: I'm so sorry.
Person 1: Damn snail flops.

by Eneunoic September 24, 2021

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Snail

Another word for a homeless person, as they carry their home on their back.

Look at that snail over there pissing in Costa coffee’s doorway!

by Thedodgytaxidriver October 10, 2017

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Snail-Eyed

(Verb) When ones penis shrivels up inside ones body after witnessing a painful or traumatic event, especially penis inflicted.

(A man is running and slips, planting his face into the wall).

William: Ohhh ouch! That was brutal.
Robert: Uhhh, I totally just Snail-Eyed.

by TheShiningRod May 19, 2014

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Snail touch

Covering your penis with any possible gooey materials and then attempt someone else to give you oral sex while they try to remove the goo.

Hmm... Should I use pickle juice combined with jello?

Perhaps... She'll like the snail touch I'll give to her...

by Wrongsoap July 25, 2017

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For those of us who are spectacularly slow - both physically and/or mentally (god help you if you're both!)

So not just a snail (renowned for their lack of speed) but one going slower than normal due to injury. Which is pretty slow.

Urmmm - I'm feeling a bit of an injured snail now, so bear with me...

Ok here we go.

A: "You know, they've taken gullible out of the dictionary?"

B: "Really! Woah!"

A: laughs.

B: what? (thinks desperately for a few mins) Oh I get it! I've been gullible! Ha ha!

A: "blimey you're quick aren't you?"

B: Really!

A: "No. You've got the mental pace of an injured snail!"

by Remakulingo March 10, 2009

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