When you hire Wayne Gretzky to dunk his penis in a jar of maple syrup and slap you in the face with it.
I couldn't make it to baseball practice yesterday because a session of Canada's History ran a bit late.
by nozavroni February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. When you shove a Canadian Goose up your ass and use your free healthcare to repair your damaged anus.
"I just got back from the doctor's office, one more Canada's History and I'll be shitting feathers for the rest of my life."
by Amanda Beatnkill February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sex act so depraved that Stephen Colbert could not describe it on air in his Feb 4, 2010 episode. His only hints were that the act involved moose antlers, a jar of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
Man, that was one rough night last night. My friends and I tried to recreate Canada's History. I was on the receiving end of the Stanley Cup... I'm still sore...
by schlagsahne February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. crap history, probably better know to most people as ancient history, is considered to be the most cruel and inhumane form of sadistic psychological torture known to human kind. It was submitted to the Department of Education accidentally and was somehow overlooked and made it's way onto the syllabus.
It is said that ancient history is soo bad that Satan himself rejected it as being used as a form of torture in hell.
Students who choose to take ancient history are immediately blacklisted for the rest of their lives. They are usually semi-illiterate and write on papyrus scrolls instead of pieces of A4 paper. The students also use quills and ink wells and use homing pigeons to send their messages.
People who do ancient history all turn gay, except the girls...who's vagina's invert into penises thus making them men..then they turn gay. ancient history also causes students who do it immense internal trauma that the body becomes overwhelmed and develops another chromosome causing ancient history students to become down syndrome along with gay. The only cure for symptoms of ancient history's plague is to revert back to the elixir, also known as Modern History.
By doing ancient history you automatically fail the hsc........and life in general.
It is said that ancient history is soo bad that Satan himself rejected it as being used as a form of torture in hell.
Students who choose to take ancient history are immediately blacklisted for the rest of their lives. They are usually semi-illiterate and write on papyrus scrolls instead of pieces of A4 paper. The students also use quills and ink wells and use homing pigeons to send their messages.
People who do ancient history all turn gay, except the girls...who's vagina's invert into penises thus making them men..then they turn gay. ancient history also causes students who do it immense internal trauma that the body becomes overwhelmed and develops another chromosome causing ancient history students to become down syndrome along with gay. The only cure for symptoms of ancient history's plague is to revert back to the elixir, also known as Modern History.
By doing ancient history you automatically fail the hsc........and life in general.
Ralph :What subjects are you doing?
Sam: Umm, i picked 12 units of Modern History
Ralph :Me too, what subjects did you pick Miles?
Miles: I chose English, Art, Multimedia, Bio, Maths and ancient history
Ralph: ANCIENT HISTORY!!!! may aswell kill yourself now! Thats the crap history, your not even repping modern you stupid mokes! Go change to modern right now!
Sam: It's already too late, he's already turning gay
Ralph: And down syndrome
Sam: Umm, i picked 12 units of Modern History
Ralph :Me too, what subjects did you pick Miles?
Miles: I chose English, Art, Multimedia, Bio, Maths and ancient history
Ralph: ANCIENT HISTORY!!!! may aswell kill yourself now! Thats the crap history, your not even repping modern you stupid mokes! Go change to modern right now!
Sam: It's already too late, he's already turning gay
Ralph: And down syndrome
by esh diggens January 16, 2009
Get the crap historymug. by milk ducks February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. My girlfriend was mad cause I gave her some Canada's History last night; she spent most of the night washing cheese curds out of her beaver.
by ColbertFanDC February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. An incredibly long, drawn-out sexual act involving a man, a woman, their daughter and son, Grandma (it helps if she's from Quebec), the family collie, moose antlers, maple syrup and a piece of hockey equipment from a former Shawinigan Junior-B player named Red Stanley (aka "Stanley's Cup", sometimes misinterpreted as the trophy from a professional hockey league).
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
"Last night's performance of Canada's History was so intense that Grandma's glass-eye wouldn't come back out."
by grapevine1015 February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.