couch safety

Noun: A place of safety or refuge from social outcast, embarrassment, and ridicule constructed via cushion, fabric, and puffs; an inlet of refuge from post-intoxication induced stupidity and promiscuity; the vessel in which one watches horror films, psychological thrillers, or consumes the Domino's pizza (occasionally by the grace of sirmarmasir, all 3 at a time).
"Yo gypsy, you think you're in couch safety right now? You're not - get back to the frialator and don't be stealing no McNuggets!"

"Judy enveloped herself in the swaft of couch safety and began her on-demand rental of 'The Ruins'...'Ah' she thought to herself, 'what a perfect Sunday afternoon'."
by SirMarmASir May 02, 2012
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Couch Pumpkin

when a fat butted bitch hogs the couch for an extended length of time
"that couch pumpkin is still playing that stupid fucking game."

"what a cunt."
by dragunWarrior January 27, 2012
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Community couch

A girl that fucks around with a lot of guys in the same group. Or snapchat whore that does nothing but sends nudes to every guy that adds her.
"Why would he want Brenna she's the community couch?"
"Fuck if I know. She's easy? Hope he doesn't grab bed bugs and fleas."
by Keb42 December 26, 2015
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Couch stranded

You get so high you can't get off the cough or jus can't function
by Ebisedo June 28, 2018
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Jumped the couch

See also
jump the couch, or jumping the couch

Bizarre behaviour or statement(s) of a formerly beloved celebrity recognized as the exact moment when the world realizes this person has lost touch with reality and their popularity plummets.

Inspired by Tom Cruise's behaviour when he tried unsuccessfully to convince the world of his mutual , non-transactional, hetero love for Katie Holmes.

See also "Jumping the Shark" as the original idiom, which was coined in 1985 by Jon Hein in response to a 1977 episode from the fifth season of the American sitcom Happy Days, in which Fonzie (Henry Winkler) jumps over a shark while on water-skis. The phrase is pejorative and is used to argue that a creative outlet or work appears to be making a misguided attempt at generating new attention or publicity for something that is perceived once to have been widely popular, but is no longer.

See also Matthew
McConaughey's Oscars acceptance speech at the 2014 academy Awards.

Update: See Will Smith at the 2022 Academy Awards.
Oof Will Smith really jumped the couch last night with that shit he pulled at the Oscars.
by Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy March 28, 2022
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Couch Whoring

Similar to scoping out attractive individuals at the mall, campus, etc., but done from one's couch by swooning over celebrity men or women on TV or in the movies.
"I was couch whoring it up today watching a ton of Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg movies."
by philozopher99 January 15, 2012
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Couch Looting

(v) The act of searching underneath the cushions of one's couch to find spare change.
Dave was low on cash, so he decided to go couch looting.
by spencetopia June 23, 2011
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