Jesus H. Christ

"Jesus H. Christ", the "H" stands for "Heli" Jesus' GrandFather's name.

LUKE 3:23, "Now Jesus began His ministry when He was about 30 years old. He was, as many people thought, the son of Joseph, the son of HELI."

I can't believe it -- Jesus H. Christ actually MEANS something!

by Father Dickinson, Hebrew-Catholic Association July 25, 2006

Jesus Christ

The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.

Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)

by Joe Balls69 June 29, 2011

Christan Mingle

A place to meet weird pedophiles

your church, you know, christan mingle

by MrSpicyChops January 7, 2013

4 Christ

(adv) Used to describe a lifestyle that someone lives to please and glorify God; a new way of living that requires a change in habits and attitude; living right so that Christ's death was not in vain, but so someone could be saved from their sins.

Look at that guy, he lives 4 Christ.

Wow, she used to club all the time, but now she lives 4 Christ.

by Jamal L. Winston April 12, 2011

Jesus Shit the Bed Christ

A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.

1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'

by TerranceGrapes April 24, 2011

The Passion of the Christ

A movie about a guy who doesn't and never did exist getting beat by jews for about 2 and a half hours and forced to carry a wooden cross that he would soon be nailed to and die on it. Was a cool movie except they should have had someone like Adam Sandler beating this fuck or atleast Tom Green. Would have made the movie about 10 million more dollars.

Weird Fucker: Did you see the passion of the christ? I loved it!
Ralph: Yes i saw it, i was getting head in the theatre while it was playing
Weird Fucker: OH MY DEAR SWEET LORD YOU ARE GOING TO HELL WHEN YOU DIE
Ralph: ... **!BANG!** See you there

by Mark O. S. September 28, 2005

jesus jumping fucking christ

Said When Your Either Irritated and Pissed Off, Confused, Are Your About To Bite The Fucking Big One.

Irritated and Pissed Off
Jesus Jumping Fucking Christ If You Say 1 More Word During This Damn Movie I'll Carve Out Your Eyes And Skullfuck You
Confused
Jesus Jumping Fucking Christ Where The Fuck Is The Remote
About To Bite The Fucking Big One
Jesus Jumping Fucking Christ That 18 Wheeler's On The Wrong Side Of Th..................

by The Doc Brown May 6, 2006