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Lolipop Paradox

The theory that there is only one cquirrel (pronounced squirrel) in the universe that exists as an omnipotent and omnipresent being. The Cquirel is an evolved human that has has come back from the year distant 1420 so there is only one and a paradox is created every time he is seen next to himself in any field of vision.
#AUB
Jek: oh look a squirrel next to himself this must be the lolipop Paradox...henlo friend!
by Kane_Nekono May 27, 2018
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The Roman Mars paradox

The Roman Mars Paradox is a thought experiment that illustrates an apparent paradox of experiencing Roman Mars in different forms of media. In the thought experiment, Roman Mars may be considered simultaneously both attractive and unattractive as a result of being linked to the event of viewing Roman Mars.
The Roman Mars Paradox can include both of these statements.

Roman Mars is so attractive, he makes my pussy wet!

I saw Roman Mars and it made my pussy dry-up like a saltine cracker.
by BobDylan March 13, 2021
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deserter paradox

a repeating loop where you get an idea, talk about it with friends, abandon the project, and then start a new idea
A: I'm gonna make a game!
(5 years later)
B: Hey what about that game you were talking about before?
A: Oh, I abandoned it 30 seconds after getting the idea.
B: You dirty slut, try not to follow the rules of the deserter paradox next time.
by BingoIsaac April 7, 2023
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self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).
Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!
by QuacksO February 3, 2017
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Paradox

A contradictory statement or event that disproves itself. Sadly these do not work against moronic personality cores.
G: This, sentence, is, false!
W: Hm, uh, hm. True.
G: Its a paradox, there is no answer!
by yogha August 21, 2023
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No Simp Paradox

The misconception that some actions of simping can be interpreted as no simping. Some actions are simping regardless if you do them or not. The action of holding a door for the female gender is clearly related to simping. However, by you revoking the action, the females simp-radar might catch the act by thinking "wow, he does not want me to know he likes me, that's why he wont hold the door for me". This however, requires the encounter of an intelligent female, which is very unlikely.
You're really about to fuck up no simp september bro, you've been caught by the no simp paradox
by Ph.D. in No Simping September 16, 2020
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Wolfie Paradox

A duality that once discovered, surrendered to and accepted without resistance, brings sublime joy and boundless love within.
She discovered not everything is as it seems. Or was it exactly as it seemed? In search of the truth, to save her soul, she honored herself by welcoming the Wolfie paradox. And so she smiled deep in her heart.
by Algeepa Dream June 1, 2021
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