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William John Mallabone

Well, what can we say ladies and gentlemen. This man here defies the laws of chads. Only studs can be given this name.
Gosh you're so handsome and fit, what's your name? William John Mallabone.
by CertiChadFinder101 November 24, 2021
mugGet the William John Mallabonemug.

John Willing

A douche that will break a girl's heart.
Stephanie: Hey have you met john willing yet?
Miranda: Yeah! He's a total douche! He told my sister to give him a bj and then left!
Stephanie: Wow, what a cunt!
by Shelbitch November 25, 2013
mugGet the John Willingmug.

John

"What's a john?"
"It's a noun! It's everything!"
by balls in yo jawls <3 November 8, 2023
mugGet the Johnmug.

John Corness Corntoes IV

A historical figure on Cornearth and the Cornverse in which he was banished to Potato Potat Tater V for disobeying the Cornbookious Cornelton and refusing to consume the corn in which Cornell Cornelius Cornbob has provided for him.
Yo, did you hear the infamous story of John Corness Corntoes IV?
by Cornell_Cornelius_Cornbob September 27, 2022
mugGet the John Corness Corntoes IVmug.

John eleven

Ah huh, I’d stab it” that’s a John eleven
by Towls1 July 11, 2024
mugGet the John elevenmug.

Johning

One who partakes in dumbass actions.
This mf really Johning right now
“You a John ass mf”
by @nonnnn_8921 August 3, 2018
mugGet the Johningmug.

John

A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”

“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”

“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”

I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
mugGet the Johnmug.

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