Tard Skip

This is a life-hack, in which a messed up person will act like they have a disability in order to skip long lines. It is best used at theme parks when it’s a busy day, and you have a medium to large group of people who want to get to the front. In order to get the full effect, the person should never be out of character

Bailey:I just rode the new roller coaster and only had to wait 2 minutes!
Andrew: No way, I had to wait 10 hours.
Bailey: My cousin just used a tard skip, and they let us right on

by DAB#2 June 15, 2019

Tard Tax

Tard Tax: An official tax on "retards". A retard shall defined as A) a person who acts retarded and jackass like. B) a person lacking logical and critical thinking to come to a logical conclusion. C) One who lacks the ability to examine ALL the facts in front of them and realise they have been lied to.

Self explanatory....The more of a tard a person is the more tax shall be imposed on them.

1) "Hey guess what??...Congress thinks the American people are not awake and may impose a tard tax on them".

2) "Ladies and gentlemen of the Senate and House...since the American people are asleep and we can basically rape and plunder, how much of a tard tax shall we impose on the American people??"

by rkmalone July 24, 2010

Color Tard

A person in the color gaurd who over exaggerates being in color gaurd and can't stand to talk about anything but color gaurd. They will often have a profile picture of them in their uniform and won't stop talking about the difficulties of color gaurd when really it's just a place for girls who weren't talented enough to be on the cheer or poms team.

Madison: "Hey do you know Julie?"
Peter: "yeah she's a total color tard and won't shut up about it."

by Iris208 November 15, 2014

tard waggling

the wobbling while walking that one experiences while intoxicated or retarded

Brian was definitely tard waggling down our hall last night after he got fucked up on two wine coolers.

by C.Jizzle (Forizzle) February 26, 2009

alca-tard

1. An otherwise seemingly normal acquiantance whose thought process has obviously been clouded by copious and/or regular alcohol consumption, to the point where their normal personality seems to have been negatively affected, even during brief periods of sobriety. ~Often detected by unusually frequent bouts of making a complete ass of ones self and may be accompanied with foul odors.

2. Someone who may already have, or an insinuated suspicion that they may be dangerously close to having a diagnosable problem with alcohol.

3. Term for a person whose apparent alcohol intoxication seemed cause for a particularly unusual incident of stupid behavior.

James: "Was that weird or what last night when Steve took his pants off in the middle of the neighborhood BBQ?"

James' wife: "Yea, we definately need to put out an alca-tard alert."

alcoholic alcoholism

by Superick February 8, 2010

Tard-Head

1. Someone with autism that thinks it’s an excuse to act like a dickhead. This actually happens more often than you think, for 2 reasons: it being common to simply not understand much social cues, or because it heavily was (and still is, albeit to a lesser extent) associated with having a lower iq, with 40% of autistic people actually having intellectual disability.

Godlys, you’re a tard-head, man you’re a jackass.

by Godlys June 10, 2023

tard monger

The 'tard is short for retard or fucktard, and the monger means dealer. It is a mildly amusing alternative to the usual insults that you throw at dumb people.

What did you do that for, you 'tard monger!?

I don't even know why God lets a 'tard monger like you exist.

by Ticking Clock October 9, 2008