speed texting 

When someone texts at or close to the speed of light and defies the laws of physics. This is usually accomplished by preppy teenage girls.

Dude1: My new girlfriend just replied to my text before it even finished sending!

Dude2: She must be speed texting again.

speed texting by Aceacles December 30, 2009

Speed Boat-ing

1. To procrastinate to the point of avoiding the thing completely
2. To do a job so badly nobody wants it, anyway.

Boss: What is this shit?
Employee: I was Speed Boat-ing...
Boss: You're fired!!!

Speed Boat-ing by Lucille Tercio July 1, 2016

Speed Washing 

When a person is in the shower washing all body parts really fast!

Dude 1- Hey the other day my wife told me she caught me jerking off in the shower.

Dude 2-Wow that sucks .How did you get out of that one?

Dude 1-I told her its my cock and I can wash it as fast as I want too .Ya know speed washing

Speed Washing by troubledemon January 24, 2010

speed of sperm 

to adjaculate so fast that it brakes the speed of sound

garrys adjaculation was so fast it was travaling at the speed of sperm

speed of sperm by roastmutton July 3, 2011

speed of light 

the speed that light travels, nothing can go the speed of light except light. during a conversation my friend were having, if something on land traveled the speed of light (like a MAC Cannon, the bullets mass would become so dense, it wouldn't move. If fired in the Vacuum of space, it would create a black hole in itself, pulling whatever came near it and porbably blowing it up.

dude, that can't happen, nothing can go that fast

speed of light by Mustache Man May 13, 2005

speed date 

A method of masturbation that has to be performed quickly.

I broke up with my girlfriend so I had to speed date before work.

speed date by bam November 18, 2003

speed date 

to partake a social engagement with a member of the opposite sex while on the drug Speed. While on the date everything moves remarkably fast. see quick.

Tony and Mariela went out to the Mongolian barbecue, drove to the lake, got a speeding ticket on the way, sprinted down the beach, removed their clothing, did the deed, kissed each other good night, and returned home in a matter of 4.2 seconds

speed date by Kyle King August 31, 2004