"As the legend goes, Jesus once encountered the Borg. The Borg attacked him, he turned the other cheek, and the Borg promptly sedated him. When he woke up, he had been assimilated. His new found fusion with the complex technology of the Borg was not something he rejected - he rejoiced. He swayed the Borg to be peaceful while he downloaded all the coolest new apps. He taught the Borg to meditate on compassion while he traded stocks from his iPhone. He cured the deaf among the Borg and gave them hands-free bluetooth ear pieces. He even showed them tranquility and sent them the most elite tracker invitations."
"Continually, he led them to enlightenment and free porn, but they were not satisfied. A glitch named Judas caused the Borg to attack Jesus. They soldered him to a steel wall. Though in his final moments he became entranced, marveling at visions of bleeding edge technology, he faded. As his last breath left his body, his netbook dropped from his hands and he died. Three days later he just kinda woke up. He rose into the air - floating, wrapped in a buzzword cloud widget. His gaze fell upon them as he ventured to speak, but nay, words did not come - only the most beautiful ringtone fluttered gaily from his lips and echoed throughout the cold halls of the cube. With that, the Borg bowed low and he vanished."
* The term technolojesus is now used widely as a title for anyone skilled with computers or electronics who also happens to be a compassionate badass with mad wisdom.
"Continually, he led them to enlightenment and free porn, but they were not satisfied. A glitch named Judas caused the Borg to attack Jesus. They soldered him to a steel wall. Though in his final moments he became entranced, marveling at visions of bleeding edge technology, he faded. As his last breath left his body, his netbook dropped from his hands and he died. Three days later he just kinda woke up. He rose into the air - floating, wrapped in a buzzword cloud widget. His gaze fell upon them as he ventured to speak, but nay, words did not come - only the most beautiful ringtone fluttered gaily from his lips and echoed throughout the cold halls of the cube. With that, the Borg bowed low and he vanished."
* The term technolojesus is now used widely as a title for anyone skilled with computers or electronics who also happens to be a compassionate badass with mad wisdom.
Bro, the other day this technolojesus came through and recovered my Brazillian fart-porn off my hard drive - I thought it was fragged, but this dude saved my life.
by moultedsaws October 26, 2010
Get the technolojesus mug.that guy is more "technologeable" than Bill Gates
by thegreatestofalltime August 28, 2009
Get the technologeable mug.A syndrome in which one gets so incredibly infuriated by technology the emotion boils up in one monosyllabic outburst; usually the word FUCK! Most commonly suffered by I.T. personnel but also know to affect smartphone users and elderly people with more than one remote control.
Bob's lost spreadsheet induced technological tourettes and got him a three day suspension and a lot of dirty looks from his bible-thumping co-workers.
by House, I.T. March 15, 2010
Get the Technological Tourettes mug.To strip technology of all meaningful features, thereby violating its original intent to solve problems in an automated way. This is typically done by an enterprise through a series of decisions made by folks with no understanding of technology, e.g. legal or risk. Fears that drive to these decisions are typically focused on trying to prevent behaviors through technology limitations, without isolating that the issue is the behavior. The end result will likely be a set of technology that looks similar to the current technology set, just with a different look and feel on top of a fundamentally rearchitected platform typically costing millions of dollars.
The approach would be equivalent to not allowing knives in the cafeteria for fear of stabbings vs not hiring people who won't stab each other. Only technologically neutering costs much more.
The approach would be equivalent to not allowing knives in the cafeteria for fear of stabbings vs not hiring people who won't stab each other. Only technologically neutering costs much more.
They technologically neutered the SharePoint environment by removing everything but the list and document library. It is no longer usable for its core collaboration functions.
We have technologically neutered our mobile email by not allowing attachments.
They technologically neutered their CRM by turning off the workflow features.
We have technologically neutered our mobile email by not allowing attachments.
They technologically neutered their CRM by turning off the workflow features.
by ColdheartedMatt May 8, 2012
Get the Technologically neutered mug.FM Technology (fucking magic technology)
Highly advanced term used to define any technology that you are unfamiliar with.
Highly advanced term used to define any technology that you are unfamiliar with.
by tinav December 6, 2009
Get the FM technology mug.Items: televisions, computers, cell phone, etc., that will only work after being struck with great force
Kouji: My keyboard started working again!
JD: How'd you get it to work?
Kouji: I hit it
JD: Impact Technology.
JD: How'd you get it to work?
Kouji: I hit it
JD: Impact Technology.
by The Kobra Kid January 1, 2011
Get the Impact Technology mug.by stackattack January 8, 2011
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