When you drop a turd that’s so hard, so long and so girthy you feel like your taint is being slowly split in half as the behemoth passes.
From the moans coming from the stall next to mine, I’m pretty that guy was forcing out a taint splitter.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
Hey braaaaaahhh I’m really hurting. I just has a taint splitter. Will you do a brooohhh a solid and take a gander at my taint and make sure it’s not bleeding?
I’m going to have to take a laxative. I can’t take anymore taint splitters.
by Eaton Holgoode October 16, 2018
In males, the early morning piss in which the stream tends to split into at least a couple different directions; in the most extreme cases, this can cause a good bit of piss to end up on the rim of the toilet bowl
by @$$Y McGee April 13, 2008
A sexual act during which the woman's legs are held by the ankles and spread as far apart as possible, while ramming the cock into her with as much force as possible, making the woman fear she will be split in half.
If the act is performed correctly, the fuck profile should perfectly imitate the piston-action of a real log splitting machine.
If the act is performed correctly, the fuck profile should perfectly imitate the piston-action of a real log splitting machine.
"Hey Chris, Sherry was complaining all day at work that she was sore and could hardly walk...what did you do to her last night?"
"Well, she was talking shit about how much cock she could handle last night, so I put her ass in the log splitter until she started spraying female ejaculate all over the place in an uncontrolled fuck quiver."
"Well, she was talking shit about how much cock she could handle last night, so I put her ass in the log splitter until she started spraying female ejaculate all over the place in an uncontrolled fuck quiver."
by Mr. North April 21, 2009
An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
by Plank "Vic Vapors" Hungwell November 17, 2006
My sister said she couldn't walk for a week after Carlos fucked her, because he was hung with a real pussy-splitter.
by Edmond Dantes April 10, 2006
Fecal incontinence while wearing thong underwear, most commonly performed by extremely drunk females.
by Onigato December 23, 2014
An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
by Plank "Vic Vapors" Hungwell November 18, 2006