the offspring

A band made up of stoned village idiots!!! Get it in your bloody head, the offspring FUCKING SUCK!!!
I was watching mtv and they played a offspring song...(3 seconds later)AHHH!!! IT BURNS MY EARS!!!! TURN OFF THAT FUCKING CRAP!!!PLEASE!!!
by The Truth. May 03, 2005
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The Offspring

A punk rock band with a lot of good songs. Has sadly been picked up by "punk" emo Gen Z'rs. Give the greatest hits album a listen.

Was featured heavily in Crazy Taxy.
Person 1: Hey man you listen to the Offspring?
Person 2: Yeah, they have some classics.
Person 3: Damn straight.
by Hirsc January 23, 2018
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The Offspring

Teenybopper band that writes shitty novelty bands and pretends to be political.
The Offspring are fags.
by lawl2u July 16, 2006
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cumswap offspring

A son or daughter procreated by a man skeeting into a girls mouth and said girl spits into another girls spread vagina lips.
male: Dayum girl i didnt know you were pregnant?

female: Yeah it's a cumswap offspring.

male: oh.....

female: yeah.
by ogmudbone69 October 15, 2010
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Offspring Break

A much needed break from your children. A week or more of recess from the drudgery of parenting, usually provided by grandparents or any sucker willing to take your kids.
Mimi is taking the kids to Six Flags first week of July! Offspring Break 2011! Holla!
by RachRiot July 18, 2011
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Human offspring

A messy, slobbery, crying heap of flesh that carries the genetics of both human parents.

Eventually, the offspring go through some type of metamorphous and become an irritating, arrogant, war loving people who care only about themselves and this strange item they call "money". (It has no apparent value or visual appeal. The humans use it as some sort of bartering device.)
"The human offspring have a strange authority aver their elders. They manipulate them in order to get what they desire. If we uncover their secret, planet Earth will soon be ours."
by The Extraterrestrial Giraffe August 06, 2014
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Offspring Paradox

Offspring can be disturbingly illogical, yet profoundly fulfilling. You should anticipate paradox.
Huda: Oh man, I'd hate to bring a child into this world of nonsense, but I feel like I need it.
Mackan: And that's what you call *clears throat* an Offspring Paradox.
by tigerlxlly September 07, 2020
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