A messy, slobbery, crying heap of flesh that carries the genetics of both human parents.

Eventually, the offspring go through some type of metamorphous and become an irritating, arrogant, war loving people who care only about themselves and this strange item they call "money". (It has no apparent value or visual appeal. The humans use it as some sort of bartering device.)
"The human offspring have a strange authority aver their elders. They manipulate them in order to get what they desire. If we uncover their secret, planet Earth will soon be ours."
Get the Human offspring mug.