mallet fingers

Mallet fingers, i.e. when a boy is really bad at fingering a girl, so bad it is painful. Possibly big fingers, or just bad practice.

Jane: Did you have fun with Raymond last night.
Cat: Yeah i heard you went back with him!?
Lucy: Yeah wish i hadnt though, he had real mallet fingers!
Jane: ooh ouch!

by CrackwhoMoFo June 13, 2009

Midget Mallet

When you stick a midget on the end of your dick and swing her around beating someone to death.

SephirothXWEAPON: and coming over ther to beat you over the head with a midget mallet!

by Cebo December 23, 2003

Shit Mallet

To release gas from one's rectum (fart) in front of an automated sliding door like those found at entrances and exits of grocery stores, so that when the door opens and a breeze rushes in, on-comers will be hit directly in the olfactory system (nose - sense of smell) by one's 'stink'.

Jay farted in front of the doors at the Soccer Centre last night and when Joyce walked out through the doors, his 'stink' hit me like a 'shit mallet'.

by ArsenalArmada January 23, 2008

timmy mallet

A man you would not leave near your children.

Look at the camera and go bleearrrghh!

by hoder March 11, 2004

Mallet

Post - Mallet = An after mallet

One would have a major after mallet upon onesself

by Risky November 30, 2003

Rubber mallet

A dummy

In a shed full of sharp tools you are the rubber mallet.

by G Moon November 04, 2020

ass mallet

Another term for an asshole.

{Seen on a drone aerial video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your βµṁ#Ø£€** to your ṕ€nµs

♪ Some ass mallet pee'd on a fembot!!! ♪
{~850ms pause}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony September 17, 2021