nasterbating

nasty masterbating, usually the kind you accidently witness. Potentially involving unconventional lubes such as sweat from mowing the lawn, old milk, taco drippings, or water from under your fridge.

Walked in on my friend nasterbating the other day, his blow up doll was wrecked. It hurt my soul to witness that.

by JJRamzilla May 20, 2013

Crying while masterbating

The depressive state where your hunger for vagina overshadows your temporary sadness. This state often results in the victim masterbating over violent porn, using his own tears as lubricant as desperate howls of anguish escape his lips.

B.A. was crying while masterbating after someone paid out his altezza tail lights the other night.

by Anal ejaculator January 12, 2012

fasterbating

Fasterbating is when fat slobs who usually eat and self-gratify simultaneously go on a diet and just gratify themselves on an empty stomach.
-
Self-Gratyifying oneself to eating disorder porn

Person 1 : Wow, is that that same fat freaky slob that never leaves the house, they're kinda looking, less fat and slobby, though really still freaky
Person 2: Yeah, they've lost a lot of weight since they started Fasterbating
Person 1: Fasterbating?

Person 2: I know, I'm never eating again

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Person 1: *walks in* -looks at screen #puuuuke#
Person 2: I was fasterbating, what?
Person 1: Nothing, *gasp* nothing at all

by Comrade Plasternasty October 8, 2010

Laterbating

Laterbating: To masturbate about somebody, later.

"He didn't know we followed him home from the Halloween Party, we were gonna sneak downstairs and scare the shit out of him. Bust open the door and there's bro: got Journey on full blast, standing on the end of the bed with his leg up on the post, Laterbating to a picture of Natan dressed as Satan, metal horns to the sky. We didn't even say anything. We couldn't. It was kind of a moment. So we just sat there and watched."

And that, my friends, was how we turned gay in the summer of 69.

by Nippletitski December 20, 2025

laserbaiting

The period between being sober and getting high

we were laserbaiting for atleast 10 minutes before we got high

by yourfuckingkiddingme May 26, 2011

asterbating

Jacking off to a ass you saw earlier in the day

Imgonna have to go home and be asterbating

by Bigotisyouknowthis January 6, 2016

Masterbating window licker

A person that follows you , annoys you, and always seems to be standing behind you . He or she tries to do eveyones job but their own with an intelligence level of a fucktard

Did you just see that masterbating window licker

by Whoswho 1 June 4, 2018