church (h)usher

A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.
If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.
by QuacksO January 31, 2023
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The Usher

The Usher is a viral infection common in the north-eastern part of the United States.
"Man, did you hear that the Usher knocked out 2 of our employees in the past 2 weeks?"
by Magma Man April 28, 2022
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Ellectra Usher

I feel like Ellectra Usher this morning.
by GG4live January 06, 2014
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usher puddles

When you and your partner are both butt ass naked having sex and the sweat from both of your bodies splashes together creating puddles for usher to swipe his foot through in one of his videos
We fucked so hard and got so sweaty making usher puddles
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Usher

Did you see how Sara ushered Mike?
by usherme March 13, 2018
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Usher

When used as a verb it means to lead someone in a polite, pleasant way into a place.
The bank are incompetent. They can't do their jobs. They usher me into this room where I shout at them.
by deadlygamesman March 15, 2019
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Ushers

Assistants in the porn industry, helping to feed large penises into unaccommodating spaces.
Jennifer squirmed as the ushers helped Ron get into place
by Plaintiff 68 September 18, 2018
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