Beat-off bumps

A long line of pot holes in the road that shake the car enough so the driver can grab his dick and jack off effortlessly.

I was driving down the road when I hit a set of beat-off bumps... With no effort I grabbed my cock and busted a nut on my steering wheel

by Happy beater August 13, 2010

beating off the clock

To beat the clock by masturbating.

Tim doesn't have to go to school for 2 hours so he ended up beating off the clock.

by dontbeaturselfupoverthis August 20, 2010

Beat Off Blister

The blister you get on your pecker shaft when you've masturbated so hard and so much. It only gets worse if you keep beating off. But why would you when it makes your Peter popper poop so good?

I don't have a girlfriend. I only have beat off blisters.

by Jellystone October 27, 2018

Beat off music

An expression typically used in the American Midwest to describe any song on the radio that is truly pleasing to the ear canals.

*Livin’ on a Prayer comes on the radio*

Person 1: “Aw man this is beat off music!”

by BeatOffMusician July 21, 2018

Urban Beat off

Searching Urban Dictionary for the most disgusting and foul sexual maneuvers, and beating off to them.

Psychiatrist: what did you do last night?
Me: I spent like 5 hours performing an Urban beat off.
Psychiatrist: again? What definition this time?
Me: The Boston Pancake got me so horny that I beat my little dick around til it was black and blue.

by Sally Crapbasket July 9, 2009

Beat off formula

100 - (length of dick in inches / time since last nut in hours) * 100 = odds out of 100 to beat off

use the beat off formula to see if you can bust.

by Elspencico June 3, 2019

beat off kid

some one who beats off nearly 24/7/365 and lets the wold know

Sean Connary: "I caught you jacking off"

by Mr. Callhan June 11, 2006