mitch hedberg

an american comedian known for his one-line non sequiturs. he was hilarious and may he rest in peace

I slept at my friends house, and he said "you have to sleep on the floor" i said "Damn gravity...got me again! You don't know how badly i wanted to sleep on the wall!"_ Mitch Hedberg

and

I have a king sized bed. Now i don't know any kings, but I'm sure that if one slept over, he would be comfortable... "Hey I'm a king!" "well you'll never guess what I have in store for you, exactly to your specifications"-Mitch Hedberg

and

You know how people say "i don't care if they're black, white, purple or green!"? ..oh now hold on a minute, you gotta draw the line somewhere...to hell with purple people! unless they're suffocating...theenn help em!-Mitch Hedberg

by teeeaaa May 13, 2006

Hebephilia

Hebephilia refers to an adult's sexual preference for pubescent youths; the term was introduced by Glueck (1955).1 It differs from ephebophilia, which refers to the erotic interest in individuals in mid- to late adolescence,2 and from pedophilia, which refers to the erotic interest in prepubescent children.3 While individuals with a sexual preference for adults (i.e., teleiophiles) may have some sexual interest in pubescent-aged individuals,4 the term hebephilia is reserved for those who prefer pubescent-aged individuals over adults.

Sally is a pubescent child.
Tom likes Sally because she is a pubescent 10 year old girl.
He likes Pubscent girls.
That makes him a Hebephile.
Hebephilia

by MsVenus September 27, 2009

Mitch Hedberg

funny ass comedian.dak sunglasses are always present on his face.

some of his brilliannce:

i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.

cucumbers are pickles that sold out.

a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"

by mitch fan October 2, 2004

heeby-jeebies

A general feeling of unease or vague anxiety, usually caused by mildly to moderately awkward social situations and sometimes involving inappropriate or unwanted displays of affection among persons whom are young or unfamiliar.

"Did you see that guy making kissy faces at me over there?"

"Yeah, he's creepy... he gives me the heeby-jeebies!"

=====

"Can you believe those two? They're only in sixth grade!"

"Word. They're a little young for that... it kinda gives me the heeby-jeebies."

by jcalaw63 February 24, 2010

hebe

slur for a jewish person

Joe Pesci: Let's make Lethal Weapon 5.
Mel Gibson: Shut the fuck up you dumb fucking hebe.

by teep August 20, 2006

heebner

another word for a penis that is at least 27in in length and 14in in girth

Bekky-Oh my God Laqueesha, Jamal had a total heebner
Laqueesha- Damn, Tommy has a chode

by Yommoooomma July 6, 2006

mitch hedberg

Funniest comedian alive, see crack head, lol but the best crack head.

"I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language."
"If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible..."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
The Grand Finally

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

by n333m October 19, 2004