"We are the church of Firnando, here is our tale. We formed when our High Priest happened upon our God, our Holy Lord Split in Twain, the Cleaved One, the pinnacle of rubber duck physique, FIRNANDO. We began our journey when we were deceived by the infamous Betrayer. Since then we have evolved towards our goal of world acceptance. We act in Firnando's name to create a world of acceptance"- Presumed DJ Liam, council member
The Church of Firnando is the only Firnandowist worshipping center in the world, as of November 2020. Firnandowists praise the lord Firnando the cleaved one, a rubber duck split in twain who arose from the depths of a sacred claw machine. Their holy book, The Firnandonomicon, consists of eleven commandments, tales of Lord Firnando, and a number of psalms (composed by "Presumed DJ Liam"). You can read more about The Church of Firnando on their wix-cite that goes by the same name.
The Church of Firnando is the only Firnandowist worshipping center in the world, as of November 2020. Firnandowists praise the lord Firnando the cleaved one, a rubber duck split in twain who arose from the depths of a sacred claw machine. Their holy book, The Firnandonomicon, consists of eleven commandments, tales of Lord Firnando, and a number of psalms (composed by "Presumed DJ Liam"). You can read more about The Church of Firnando on their wix-cite that goes by the same name.
High Preist: "Ever been dead inside? join the Church of Firnando, and either become happy or die a human sacrifice! either way, you won't be sad anymore!"
by Church_Of_Firnando November 12, 2020
Get the The Church of Firnando mug.A group of nutjobs who hate the universe. If you are atheist, baptist (WTF???), protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or any other religion on the planet, they hate you. They hate soldiers, America, The UK, Australia, and any other country who refuses to publicly execute gays and "dykes".
Hey, are those those Westboro Baptist Church weirdos protesting the univesre?
Yeah, I guess it was only a matter of time.
Yeah, I guess it was only a matter of time.
by MULTI_MEDIA_MAN November 22, 2009
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Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Church of Cliff Richard mug.A church that practices the literal meaning of the bible. They believe that the Tsunami was a good thing because it killed 'fags' and 'dykes'. They also believe Hurricane Katrina was 'God's' way of punishing America because apparently, in their opinion, 'God hates America'. These guys are a bunch of sad, uneducated, religious kooks who need to stop dictating what 'God' thinks, because how would they know? The answer is they don't. They construct a 'God' figure as a way to express their personal views on the world, these people make me sick and I can only hope that one day they will forget about prejudice and hate.
According to the Westboro Baptist Church, God Hates Fags, God Hates America, God Hates Sweden, God Hates Canada, and after this definition is posted God will apparently Hate Australia because that's where I am from!
How can anyone take these people seriously?
How can anyone take these people seriously?
by Anna July 3, 2006
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Get the churself mug.Just keep looking forward, trying not to snigger and ignore the horrified expression from the old lady next to you.
by JaaagMan February 26, 2012
Get the Farting in church mug.Every single Serbian church has this name. It may be confusing to people who are not familiar with the geographical layout of whichever city a particular St. Sava's Orthodox Church may be in whenever you invite them to St. Sava's and they try to find the place but get lost going to at least 5 other St. Sava's Orthodox Church churches
Dobrović: Hey man you wanna hit up St. Sava's Orthodox Church?
Milanković: Which one?
Dobrović: The second St. Sava's Orthodox Church on Karađorđe street, right by the Šajkača factory
Milanković: Which one?
Dobrović: The second St. Sava's Orthodox Church on Karađorđe street, right by the Šajkača factory
by Oogalee Boogalee September 5, 2021
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