Skip to main content

John

Drives a mercedes And spitting on all girls when he drives by. Loves to poop and lick women. He can’t park his car loyal, has a arrogant style of parking
that woman got tuff on her face from john
by Bompyjohnsen November 22, 2021
mugGet the John mug.

John James Autobahn

A famous painter who loved to create magnificent detailed and colorful artwork-renderings of the different makes/models of zippy cars that traverse Germany's high-speed motorways.
Like his well-known feathered-friend-image-painting counterpart, John James Autobahn's one big regret about his work was that he was obliged to bring to a stop and park each of the speedy cars that he "captured on canvas", so that said "subject" vehicle would stay still for him to scrutinize its minute features and reproduce them with his pigments. John was famously known as"the boy who hated garages" --- he felt that these man-made and "confining" monstrosities were all so hideously ugly, and that the fast and nimble "light on their wheels" vehicles he loved were so much more beautiful and delightful to observe when they were out roaming and racing about, just as free as the air they passed through.
by QuacksO April 27, 2019
mugGet the John James Autobahn mug.

WHAT THE JOHN?!

Announcement:The winner of the killing streaks, Devin Caherly!

Devin: WHAT THE JOHN?!
by nao and gis June 7, 2022
mugGet the WHAT THE JOHN?! mug.

Reheating the john

When you have sex or masturbate in the kitchen or other area that involves food being cooked or prepared
I was reheating the John with my wife while the kids were away
by The aglet of gods January 24, 2024
mugGet the Reheating the john mug.

John wood

He’s a pussy in every way, and looks like a little faggot boy but it’s okay he’s slow
Look it’s the weird kid John Wood
by ?,? May 13, 2019
mugGet the John wood mug.

John

A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”

“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”

“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”

I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
mugGet the John mug.

john

the funny short filipino guy in the group who everyone loves
someone: hey? have you seen a short filipino guy before?
me: ??? oh? you mean john? yea he's right here
john: I'm not short.
by therandomfilipino August 10, 2022
mugGet the john mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email