Johning

When someone blames bad gaming on something that is completely unrelated to the game.

Person one: “I’m telling you bro, my game is just buggy and that’s why I’m playing terribly!” (This man has an RTX 4070.) Person two: “quit johning bro, you have a godly graphics card anyways.”

by 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 December 21, 2024

Doing a John Roberts

You are doing a John Roberts when you try to give both sides something to call a win.

Guy A: "What to do now? My daughter wants to visit Disneyland but my wifey complains it's too expensive for us to go there".
Guy B: "Well, buy some Disney movie tickets and save money that way. Your daughter will be happy and your wifey won't complain anymore."
Guy A: "You want me doing a John Roberts, right?"
Guy B: "Yeah, that's a foolproof plan. Trust me!"
*Divorce triggering*

by SupremeCourtNerd July 16, 2020

The John Keane

When you like to get naked with girls and then not have sex with them

The John Keane is notorious for its happening at snow globe the really shitty dungeon under green house.

by KAMI BISHOP March 14, 2024

Johnned

The Johnned (verb) – When someone hypes up an event for weeks, swearing they’ll be there, only to ghost completely on the day of, ignoring all calls, texts, and attempts to reach them. No explanation, no warning—just pure, unfiltered disappearance.

Origins:
Named after John, the undisputed king of commitment without follow-through.

Example:
“Damn, I just got Johnned again—he was all in for our ski trip, and now he’s MIA.”

Alternate Usage:
“I swear he said he was coming… bro straight-up Johnned us.”

by TheGovernor77 February 28, 2025

john holetrane

The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece in someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a John Holetrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like John Coletrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."

A guy on the street offered me a John Holetrane but all he had was pvc pipe. I respectfully declined, sure that he wasn't the butthole virtuoso he was claiming to be.

by Tex Tile September 17, 2016

John

He is honestly the giga chad. Men want to be him and woman want to be with him. A John is ussually very athletic and intelligent even though he doesn't show it.

John makes lesbians turn into straights

by xd_kuraLitsa November 21, 2021

Johned

Where you get removed/cancelled from a society for no or false reason’s

Did you hear that mark had got ‘Johned’ yesterday?

by TheFourz August 5, 2022