Masturbation Proclamation

a in progress soon to be bill, giving the freedom to masturbate wherever you choose without consiquence

masturbation proclamation, masturbate in class

by Krisspuff April 16, 2010

Masturbation Formula

The formula for creating a vague innuendo for masturbation.

Verb+Infinitive(the)+Any Noun

Guy 1: I'm gonna go punch the clown for a little bit.

Guy 2: What??

Guy 1: You know... choke the chicken, mow the cougar, beat the meat? Whatever I'm gonna go masturbate.

Guy2: Why didn't you just say so?

Guy 1: Cuz I'm using the masturbation formula!

by CrackerManDelux August 8, 2009

Group masturbation

The act of three or more people jacking off or fingering themselves or others in the same room. This group maybe be of mixed genders or only one gender.

Jim: Dude, I was at Elliot's house the other day and he got some chicks to come over and jack us off.

John: Is there always group masturbation at Elliot's?

Jim: Yeah it's Elliot's house. Amazing things happen all the time.

by Jack Alof August 9, 2008

Masturbation Burn

A blister/sore that occurs along the shaft after excessive masturbation.

After stroking for hours on end, Johnny developed Masturbation Burn.

by Ch@0s117 May 23, 2015

Masturbation Proclamation

Law of the land giving any person the ability to claim any object on which they masturbates onto as long as that is not already claimed.

"I now own this due to the essential rights given to me by the Masturbation Proclamation"

by Christmas cruises October 5, 2017

electronic masturbation

The process of getting an alert on your electronic device (computer) and being required to do the same meaningless action over and over again with no real progress or additional improvement.

I had to stop and put my initials in this screen everytime I use this program. It serves no purpose. It is like electronic masturbation. It does me no good!

by Dallas's Widget March 5, 2011

Information Masturbation

The instant gratification or satisfaction gained from obtaining information off of the interwebs. This information is rarely retained.

Burnt out from information masturbation due to ever-present smartphones, the 21st century man is doomed.

by wobblewarble December 22, 2012