Adobe Support

A mythical entity allegedly created to assist users of Adobe products, but primarily functions as a high-speed Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V machine. Conversations follow a predictable arc: you provide detailed information, they ignore it, then respond with either a request for the same info or irrelevant steps clearly lifted from an ancient support scroll. It's not help — it’s performance art in email form.

Me: "Hi, I’m using Magento 2.4.7-p4 and the checkout crashes on submit."
Adobe Support: "Thanks for confirming. Can you please take a full backup, reset your expectations, and wait 48 hours for a reply that ignores your message entirely?"

by a-mustache May 8, 2025

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Tech Support

A person who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge

I thought tech support would be able to assist me but they were clueless

by mafiageek69 September 17, 2024

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supportive girlfriend

Me

I am such a supportive girlfriend

by Your mom’s mom’s mom February 28, 2023

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hydroponics support

A hydroponics support system is any support system that holds up a hydroponic unit.

When a hydroponics system needs a support, the hydroponics support holds it in place. It can be one level, or stacked on top of each other.

by doublestandarddems April 22, 2013

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(insert politician here) supporter

Someone who thinks their favorite politician is the best one in the world. Their politician can do no wrong and anyone who supports anyone else is a dumbass racist redneck twig boy idiot

Guy 1: who’s your favorite politician?
Guy 2: I’m kind of an (insert politician here) supporter.
Guy 1: OH MY GOD YOU RACIST SEXIST IDIOT
Guy 1: Whoa what are you talking about?

by Boom stick August 9, 2019

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