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squirrel nonce

Someone who is such a nonce that they are no longer satisfied by children and turn to the next annoying, chubby cheeked thing. The squirrel.
John: Look at how that squirrel’s tail moves!
Barry: Oh John you’re a right squirrel nonce you
by Reesebby October 1, 2018
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Beer Squirrel

A person who brings beer over to your house, then forgets where he left his beer(s), then the next time he comes over, he remembers, "Oh yeah, I have beer here!" This is in line with a squirrel hiding nuts for the winter but forgetting where he hid the nuts.
Marcia: "Hey Ross, do you want to come over and watch The Big Lebowski tonight?"
Ross: "Sure! Should I pick up a six-pack on my way?"
Marcia: "No, fool! You already have beer at my house, man!"
Ross: "I'm such a beer squirrel! I'll be right over."
by MCBassGuitar June 2, 2015
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Slow Squirrel

1. Someone who despite multiple explanations is unable to grasp simple concepts.

2. Common Sense 'Road Kill"

3. Lacking basic and/or needed skill-sets to succeed in current work, much less advanced position, or someone who is employed well above what subordinates or co-workers believe they are intellectually able to handle

4. Darwin Award candidate
You rarely see a dead squirrel on the side of the road. So a slow squirrel is one who probably should have been removed from the gene pool.

E.G. He/She is a slow squirrel.

Anyone who has made honorable mention or received a Darwin Award
by CDSRM43 April 8, 2011
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squirrel wrangling

The act of dealing with difficult people or handling a lot of things going on at once.

Being in control of a situation, and thinking clearly in sudden, dire situations.

To remain organized and calm in the line of fire.
I was really impressed with the governor's squirrel wrangling at the press conference today.
by squirrlgrrl May 5, 2011
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fart squirrel

The fart squirrel sprayed my dog in the face.
by BxJmc January 8, 2016
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Chasing squirrels

The lack or inability to have any attention span whatsoever.
I bet little Billy learned nothing in today's school lesson, boy looked as if he was chasing squirrels the whole time.
by christian luyando March 15, 2019
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Squirrel Cheeking

The act of grabbing you're scrotum mid-coitus and shoving it into your partners mouth or gaping anus. Typically followed by a commanding statement for your partner to "Save em up for Winter!"

It should be noted that this dominating act should only be performed in situations wherein the dominating party has enough Sack Slack to properly perform the maneuver and the receiving party has either a big enough mouth or a properly stretched anus to receive the package in its entirety.
Me and Angie wanted to try something different last night so I tried Squirrel Cheeking her ass and told that bitch to save em up for winter.
by Dave Darkly Asst Mgr JJSS March 11, 2010
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