A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
Get the Johnmug. A scary man summoned by praising Dutton or Trump. He claps back with savage insults such as "Stump"
DONT CALL HIM JOHN TREVOR STUMPERY
DONT CALL HIM JOHN TREVOR STUMPERY
You: TRUMP ON TOP
John Trevor Gregory: Stump
You: John Trevor Stumpery
John Trevor Gregory: STOP, STOP, STOP
John Trevor Gregory: Stump
You: John Trevor Stumpery
John Trevor Gregory: STOP, STOP, STOP
by John Trevor Stumpery February 19, 2024
Get the John Trevor Gregorymug. When you get in the port-a-potty at the end of a long hot steamy summer day and she still gives you a blumpkin.
by Sandy, AE, Sphinkter September 17, 2017
Get the out johnmug. A John is a person who likes sports, music and being alone. John has a lot of friends and is a very nice person in general. John is a very relaxed person and is happiest alone on his computer or playing soccer or baseball with his friends. If a John gets angered, he won't tell anyone because John is a nice person. but if it continues, he will fight back. A John is a competitive funny knowledgeable science nerd who has a lot of experience with love compared to kids his age. John also loves Pokemon and drawing and dislikes most of his close family.
by John's are cool May 11, 2021
Get the Johnmug. someone: hey? have you seen a short filipino guy before?
me: ??? oh? you mean john? yea he's right here
john: I'm not short.
me: ??? oh? you mean john? yea he's right here
john: I'm not short.
by therandomfilipino August 10, 2022
Get the johnmug. John-Fakte (John-behaviour in English) is the official name of the disease of always wanting to touch or destroy everything in sight. The official name, "John-fakte" is Norwegian, and originates from the person who "invented" the disease, John TV. (His last name will always remain a secret). The disease spreads very fast, and in the worst case scenario, it can destroy other people. There is currently no cure in existance for the dangerous disease, doctors are still working hard. If a person has the "John-Behaviour", he/she will typically try to annoy you and destroy your belongings, especially technology.
"Dude, what happened to my computer? I just left it here on my desk, and now it's destroyed!"
"It might have been the rare John-fakte/John-Behaviour!"
"It might have been the rare John-fakte/John-Behaviour!"
by Verngris June 11, 2019
Get the John-Fakte/John-Behaviourmug. If your Dad's name is John than he is probably an impostor trying to kill your whole family. If you see any person named John with a knife then you should probably run. If you hear someone say hey john it means, than it probably means that that person who knows that John, is probably he's next victim. If your talking to someone and they say there name is John I would recommend running away. If your dad's name is John, chuck him out a window before he kills you whole family.
by factstho March 21, 2021
Get the Johnmug.