Wankers' Callous

'Wankers' Callous' is loosely defined by the New England Journal of Wankology as "any light abrasion to the shaft of the penis due to either excessive or angry wanking". Whilst cases of Wankers' Callous are historically rare, when it occurs the event can be overwhelming as a short hiatus from masturbation is mandatory.

Doctor: Timmy, I'm afraid you've developed Wankers' Callous. You'll need to lay off the angry wanking; you've wanked your foreskin raw.

Hitler: Doctor Goldman just informed me that mein wankers' callous will not heal until I stop beating mein mutterzerkleinerungsmaschine. All the Jews must pay for this diagnosis.

Timmy: Doctor, your diagnosis made me so angry that I angry wanked my foreskin straight off my penis. It flew out of my hand and down my mother's throat. She died from asphyxiation.

by BGH122 May 21, 2010

shit wankered

Means that someone is so intoxicated (usually with alcahol) that they lose control over their bodily functions and deficate themselves.

Me : Oh my god did you see Gordon at the party last night, the guy shit himself after being refused at the bar!
Friend : Yeh, he was shit wankered alright, what a total idiot.

by Steven Bell April 8, 2008

Briefcase wanker

a posh, wierd, new boy who comes to school with a briefcase and is simply a wanker so is called 'breifcase wanker' by students

see him? hes a briefcase wanker!

by inbetweenerLover October 21, 2011

Fucking wanker

Pretty much the definition of evey boy named jake

“You fucking wanker”

by Us and the boys July 17, 2018

Wankered

Someone who has had too much to drink and is now lieing in a pile on the floor.

"God, look at him. Shit, hes wankered"

"I got completely wankered last night"

by Linzi January 16, 2005

pussy wanker

A pussy wanker is someone that is a total pussy when it comes to going out with girls, and instead wacks off all day alone.

Dude, John is a pussy wanker.

by Allen March 8, 2004

wanker

The other contributors are correct in the literal meaning of the word as "one who masturbates", however in Australia, it is used more like a slightly more vulgar synomym for words like fool or idiot

Did you know Brad got fired again for stealing from the boss - what a wanker

by Bruno January 15, 2005