Alaskan handjob

It’s a handjob with a slurpee as lube.

Guy: ya know, babe, our sex life is great but it’s time to ramp it up a bit!
Girl: I know you aren’t asking me for an Alaskan handjob!

by anonymous June 2, 2023

stinky handjob

A particular handjob exhibiting a particularly odiferous smell, ie) Hagrid and/or haggis

Bro that was a stinky handjob!

by waxonjackson420 June 23, 2023

Thai Handjob

A footjob. They use this term in French.

It was a boring date until she gave me a Thai handjob under the table.

by ApricotFields August 19, 2023

spicy handjob

A handjob given by using icyhot or bengay as lube.

Laura grabbed the icyhot instead of lube when she went to wack me off, turning it into a spicy handjob.

by Teranyll September 9, 2023

Ratatouille Handjob

When you give someone a hand job whilst a rat under your hat controls your hands.

Martha, last night I went to the pet store to get a special treat for Brandon’s birthday, I’m giving him a Ratatouille Handjob!

by Smellyshart September 23, 2023

Hobby Handjob

When two or more fans of a niche activity, normally strangers, engage in sharing stories, listing their collection, and generally nerding out, causing a flushed feeling within. Hobby handjobs can create lasting friendships.

I got a hobby handjob at an auto show last night. I think they are about to start a Hobby Handjob session. My husband is somewhere in the tool department no doubt having a Hobby Hnadjob.

by cdaworld January 16, 2024

Halliburton Handjob

The act of jerking someone off to distract them from the Alaskan Pipeline that’s about to be shoved up their ass.

Most frequently employed by DC lobbyists on various segments of the American public and by Amber Heard on unsuspecting romantic partners.

1. Dazzled by the company’s offer of thousands of good-paying factory jobs in exchange for tax cuts and reduced regulations, the city council was once again fooled by the old Halliburton Handjob.

2. After hearing of her boyfriend Brodie’s infidelity, Justine organized a gangbang and ambushed Brodie with a Halliburton Handjob in front of all his friends.

by Call Me Ahab January 20, 2024