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Computard

1. Some one who does not know how to do the simplest things on a computer, even if it's right there in front of them.

2. A computer that is really slow and crappy and never does what you want it to do... even if you're a computer expert.
1.

Goerge: Hey Jimmy, how do i turn it on?
Jimmy: The big button.
George: Uhh... What?!

Today, I tried to sign up for facebook. I filled out all the fields, but I couldn't find the sign-up button. I'm such a computard.

2.
Computer: There is a problem with the server. Application will close in 10 seconds.
Amanda: WTF?! Maybe I'll just reboot it.

Computer: *after being rebooted* Startup Failed. restart Computer Shut Down cancel

Today, I decided to use Patrick's computer. It took 10 minutes just to get in to the internet. Ugh. It's such a computard.
by lvvrgrl June 18, 2009
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Computerchondriac

A person who once had a computer virus and now constantly runs to a co-worker for help when their virus program alert indicates that a potential virus has been deleted.
After Erin had a virus removed from her PC- She became a computerchondriac and called her co-worker Art every time a virus alert came up on her computer.
by A-JDog May 8, 2009
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Computer Neutered

When a person gets caught on the computer via the internet watching porn switching naked photos ,and the spouse takes the computer out of the house
Jack calls up jim and says hey how come I don't see you online anymore ?

Jim replies-My wife caught me sending naked pics to some woman in china and she threw the computer out in the garbage .

Jack says- Oh she computer neutered you huh?

Jim replies-Yeah I guess so.
by troubledemon February 10, 2010
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Computer Weasel

A computer weasel (noun) - someone who lurks around the IC (or any university library) waiting to pounce onto any stray abandonned computer with all the skill and cunning of a weasel.
A - mate, I swear that guy behind me has been staring at me for the last 20 minutes. its really distracting.

B - he's a computer weasel, theres not much you can do. He'll get bored soon enough and hunt someone else.
by SUMHC syphilis January 17, 2011
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Dell Computer

Black slabs that run at 2 frames per second, they like deep fried chicken and long walks along the beach.
Don't buy a Dell Computer there actually poo poo
by Not_Campron December 11, 2020
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computer tech

a person who gets underpaid to fix simple user errors
Person A:"My computer is working."
Person B:"Call that computer tech"
by marc September 4, 2003
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computer ji

Hinglish for computer master. Used several times in "Slumdog Millionaire" by the gameshow host. Ji after a name is a Hindi term of respect.

A more flattering moniker than "hey IT guy"
Could you please show me how to archive my email, computer ji?
by Slumdog January 19, 2009
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