*All hell breaking loose in the squadbay*
Drill instructor: 10…9…8…5…2…1!
Recruits: DONE SIR!
Drill instructor: Hey, Eye Fucking Balls! That little bitch didn’t touch the bulkhead! Run!
Recruits: AYE SIR!
Drill instructor: 10…9…8…5…2…1!
Recruits: DONE SIR!
Drill instructor: Hey, Eye Fucking Balls! That little bitch didn’t touch the bulkhead! Run!
Recruits: AYE SIR!
by Messy Garden November 4, 2023
Get the Eye Fucking Balls mug.A serious issue for people who are closet alcoholics, when trying to convince someone of authority you are sober. After consuming one too many rye and cokes your non--dominant eye decides it's going to take the night off. It's a 'tell' that gives away a persons level of inebriation for A mild case would be after a couple one eye would not be fully open. After a few more the eye now also looking another direction but it seems not to be focusing or functioning. Almost like it is offline. The other eye seems to be functioning normally. A full blown case would have both eyes looking in different directions. They are basically anywhere except where the person is trying to look. This indicates a blood alcohol level nearing unconscious and the person will not remember much.
"Sir you know why I pulled you over. Sir I'm over here. Have you had anyrhing to drink tonight"
"No. No idea."
"No you haven't neen drinking? or No you have no idea how the garbage can got lodged under the front of your car and why you didn't notice it. Sir you look like you have a bit of 'rye eye' going on. Can you try to look at me for a second"
"No.... I am looking at you, ...yep thats great i was wondering what that was....I had one beer with dinner an hour ago....someone could have been hurt leaving their garbage can in the middle of the crosswalk like that..."
"Sir its six in the morning. Would you mind stepping out to do a sobriety test"
"No........ problem... six?.. what time is garbage pick up"
At this point one gets out and is disoriented by flashing cop lights and attempts to lean up against the car real smooth like but is about 4 feet away from anyrhing and starts fall over trying to save oneself only makes it worse and adds a horizontal acceleration vector to the vertical gravitatiial one heading towards ground. One becomes almost parallel to ground as they are about to make contact with the pavement. This would be an epic move into a swimming pool or slip and slide but attemting this move in a t-shirt and shorts on gravel covered concrete while not attempting to stop fall using arms, looks like a fish jumping out of water and landing in boat with grip type bottom coming to an abrupt stop resulting in road rash.
"No. No idea."
"No you haven't neen drinking? or No you have no idea how the garbage can got lodged under the front of your car and why you didn't notice it. Sir you look like you have a bit of 'rye eye' going on. Can you try to look at me for a second"
"No.... I am looking at you, ...yep thats great i was wondering what that was....I had one beer with dinner an hour ago....someone could have been hurt leaving their garbage can in the middle of the crosswalk like that..."
"Sir its six in the morning. Would you mind stepping out to do a sobriety test"
"No........ problem... six?.. what time is garbage pick up"
At this point one gets out and is disoriented by flashing cop lights and attempts to lean up against the car real smooth like but is about 4 feet away from anyrhing and starts fall over trying to save oneself only makes it worse and adds a horizontal acceleration vector to the vertical gravitatiial one heading towards ground. One becomes almost parallel to ground as they are about to make contact with the pavement. This would be an epic move into a swimming pool or slip and slide but attemting this move in a t-shirt and shorts on gravel covered concrete while not attempting to stop fall using arms, looks like a fish jumping out of water and landing in boat with grip type bottom coming to an abrupt stop resulting in road rash.
by Lloydstarr November 2, 2025
Get the rye eye mug.by SnoopyC November 2, 2011
Get the Eye-Clag mug.by krazykdv April 24, 2014
Get the eye tired mug.When you forget to wipe your ass or don't wipe good enough and your ass totally gets really red and burns like a motherfucker.
1. Bro I didn't wipe good enough and now I totally got a mean red eye stinger.
2. Damn bro I'm trying to go be a fucking idiot but this red eye stinger hurts when I walk!
2. Damn bro I'm trying to go be a fucking idiot but this red eye stinger hurts when I walk!
by McAssNigga July 1, 2016
Get the red eye stinger mug.by TrunksTheGoat October 14, 2016
Get the tittie eyes mug.A man, who, driven completely and solely by demonic self-interest, would be willing to undermine and compromise any person or value in order to achieve his goals. Usually really loves life. When Scary Selfish Guy is relaxed, even for a moment, and the facade that he presents to the world relaxes, even momentarily, one can see the most terrifying look in his eye which signifies his complete and utter selfishness.
Ryan: Dude, please call the police, I'm bleeding out. That guy was drunk and hit us at 90 mph. I can't believe that you're okay.
Gavin: Dude, I can't. I'm trying to get with Kayla and she like, really likes ruthless guys. I'm sorry man, I'll catch you later. *leaves scene*
Ryan: Holy fuck, that guy is a Scary Selfish Guy (With A Look In His Eye).
Gavin: Dude, I can't. I'm trying to get with Kayla and she like, really likes ruthless guys. I'm sorry man, I'll catch you later. *leaves scene*
Ryan: Holy fuck, that guy is a Scary Selfish Guy (With A Look In His Eye).
by BonerMasterMick2 November 21, 2025
Get the Scary Selfish Guy (With A Look In His Eye) mug.