Portuguese Monkey Wrench

When a woman gives a man a blowjob, and before the man ejaculates, she twists his member clockwise in a wrenching motion while he attempts to ejaculate.

I was hoping for a good time with that prostitute, but she ended up giving me a Portuguese monkey wrench.

by KongoJojo December 14, 2010

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Play with my Monkey

Self gratification, to masturbate with ones self,male or female,play with my monkey

Damn that girl is hot,hang on a minute buddy,I'm going to go "Play with my Monkey" real quick!!

by Bad Ass Mr.Clyde May 28, 2018

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A meme commonly used by Warren Ellis. Assumed to refer to a a counterculture near-human creature commonly mistaken for a simian.

It is not know what the filthy monkey plans, but one can safely assume it can't be good. Used in situations where conniving is warranted.

"Are you planning to seduce that innocent little freshman tomorrow?"
"Maybe yes, maybe no. The filthy monkey, it plans."

by terse August 3, 2007

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Dutch Sea Monkey

The act of urinating while in a pool of water (preferably the ocean) while in the personal space of another individual- close enough for the presence of bodily fluid to be noticed.

Applicable to both sexes.

Person 1: Why is the water over here so warm?
Person 2: You've just been dutch sea monkeyed!

by Sassy in the City July 5, 2009

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fuck my monkey

1. Yet another exclaimation of extreme disappointment. Usually uttered after a disheartending discovery.

2. Used in place of "I'll be!", or "you are kidding me".

"You dumped a bowl of icecream on the carpet?? Aw, fuck my monkey!"

"Well, fucky my monkey.... I just saw my cousin on TV!"

by towanda March 23, 2005

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