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Jared's Law

The fact that a woman's response rate is purely arbitrary and the very fact that she chooses to respond is better than her responding quick or late.
Person 1: Yo Felicia ain't responding to my messages bro
Person 2: Relax man, she'll get back to you
(after 5 hours)
Person 1: Yo she got back to me man!
Person 2: Jared's Law always holds
by theincrediblesmith November 12, 2019
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Wesselink's Law

The theory that when a maestro of any kind of musical activity says that it is the last time, it shall be repeated an undefined number of times.
Dude, he said we would be done three run throughs ago, I guess that's wesselink's law for you.
by Smashed Marx September 26, 2017
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Wuvit's Law

Any lengthy conversation will inevitably lead to Donald Trump being mentioned.
"...in short, this forum moderation policy is akin to something Donald Trump would demand!"

"Wuvit's Law, not cool"
by FourFire June 20, 2017
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Jacob's Law

This is a fundamental law of manhood. Jacob's Law is that when referring to ones penis in a jokingly or flirtatious manner, you must portray it as smaller than it actually is. This means you never let a girl down once in the sack.

Originating from the Australian outback at Jacob's Creek hence the name
Matthew: I was chatting to this girl last night and ended up having sex
Ben: ah nice, did you use Jacob's Law?
Matthew: yeah for once a girl was fine with my average sized penis
by ciy June 14, 2020
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The Laws of Hipsterism

1) One's goal shalt always be in contradiction with one's actions (the Irony Law). The is the foundation of all ye hipsterism, and the law that binds all other laws.

2) Nothing shalt be practical, a hipster shalt do everything for appearances.

2) Finally, a hipster shalt never claim to be a hipster.
Ye Application of The Laws of Hipsterism:

#1
Normal Person: Hey you want to go shopping with me?
Hipster female: No, I don't care about how I look.

(Hipster Female shalt then traverse to ye Olde Thrift store where thou shalt spend one full half day looking for garments)

#2
Normal Person: Hey! I like this artist. Their music is good!!

(Thou buys/downloads album to listen to)

Hipster Guy: *No inner monologue, for hipsters do not think consciously for themselves.

(Thou buys Vinyl to show ye others that thou purchases Vinyls.)

#3
Hipster One: I hate hipsters.

Hipster Two: Me too! God! I'm going to write an entry in Olde English and send it into Urban Dictionary that professes my hate for hipsters!!

Hipster One: Right on dude!! Hey you want to go to the thrift store afterwords to go buy records?

Hipster Two: Sorry man, but I can't I'll be pretty busy writing that entry and my fixed gear bike's in the shop right now.

Hipster One: It's cool dude...I...I love you.

Hipster Two: I...I love you too.
________________________________________________

THESE ARE THE RULES TO BE SPREAD FAR ABOVE THE SKY AND ACROSS THE LAND: FOREVER AND EARNESTLY, UN-IRONICALLY AND FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!!!
by smellls November 6, 2011
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Du's Law

Du's Law state that whenever a product or service goes mainstream, it's quality usually diminishes.
"If it goes mainstream, it goes to shit"
Person1: What the hell man! Why is ('product'/'service') so much crap nowadays?
Person 2: Du's Law my friend…Du's Law
by Diamonds_are_blue October 22, 2019
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HyDka’s Law

A player of less intelligence/skill level Is always more likely to win.
Ex:
Player 1: I’m gonna fight this guy

Player 2: OMG WATCH OUT FOR HYDKA’S LAW
by HyDka’s Law February 7, 2021
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