sperm-sealed

When the last belated dribbles of cum finally make it out of the urethra, and seal the tip of the penis, or otherwise. Can cause a slight sharp pain in the penis if not thwarted before urination.

Fred masturbated before bed, then later woke up to pee. He hadn't realized that he was sperm-sealed, and was painfully pulled from his drowsiness when nothing immediately came out.

by woodsy-likes-wood April 19, 2014

sperm-poop

The result of sperm being contained in a human anus and retrieving far to quickly, resulting in an explosive blow containing a stew composed of excrements and seamen.

Finished up... went to the bathroom.. I came back and she said we had a problem... sperm-poop!

by snarf dragon September 20, 2014

Sperm Chips

The act of ejaculating on your partner's back in a below freezing temperature environment. Whereupon the frozen semen is peeled off and fed to same partner.

"The wife and I are going ice fishing this weekend."
"Are you sure? It get's cold out there."
"Of course, mid-January is sperm chips season!"

by Oh God, why? June 17, 2012

Sperm Whale

A promiscuous, obese woman.

Jeremy bagged himself a Sperm Whale last night at Jared's party.

by NagathaChristie August 4, 2018

Sperm Sandwich

A sperm sandwich is the act of a man ejaculating between a woman's tits and then eating it. (Spread is optional).

Man 1: Duuude I totally Sperm Sandwiched your sister last night.

Man 2: I wouldnt mind spreading some butter between her slices.

Man 1: Dude this is your sister you sick bastard

Man 2: Yeh but she's well slack.

by Sam and Paddy August 24, 2009

Sperm Shirt

A T-shirt not meant to be worn, but rather to be made into a makeshift vagina of sorts; to collect semen after ejaculation during masturbation.

Never throw out your old t-shirts, they can easily be turned into a great sperm shirt.

by Maars August 6, 2011

sperm shields

Large Jackie-O style sunglasses that all the New Jersey sluts wear. Often accompanied by a tramp stamp and botox.

Danielle was wearing a pair of Gucci sperm shields when we were at Temps this summer

by NickG0529 November 2, 2006