Hand hygiene audits

This thing that hospital admin makes people do sometimes where we “need” to take valuable time out of our work day to narc on people not washing their hands efficiently.

Me writing one if I actually filled them out: “so I stalkerishly followed a nurse into the bathroom and while I was pretending to take a piss I was actually singing happy birthday in my head to see how long she washed her hands for. And I got to that 🎶🎶 “happy birthday dear fuck you” 🎶🎶🎶 but I didn’t quite get to that last “happy birthday to you” verse.

Signed, my hand hygiene audits of April 4th 2023

by Sacredfart April 4, 2023

Hand rail

A word used to describe particularly dirty or disgusting individuals; covered in dirt , like a hand rail

That girl is a real hand rail

Look at Johnny, he’s such a hand rail

by NoPoPo September 18, 2019

Norwegian hand

Reaching over the table to get something under a meal without asking for someone to sending it.

Person 1: "Hey your not very polite right now"

Person 2: " sorry i didn't mean to be inpolite"
Person 3: " You really got a Norwegian hand, dont you

by Some random Norwegian person August 26, 2023

double handed russian

Double underleg maturbation. To put ones arms under ones legs, grapple the rod and tug one out ferociously

My nobs throbbin, I'm going home for a double handed russian.

by Thystephen May 15, 2016

Second-hand anticipation

noun
Also known as SHA;
• a state of mental or emotional excitement occurring when someone is going to try something you love for the first time
• A form of reminiscence - a fond memory of when you tried something for the first time with an inability to experience that feeling ever again

Y: Have you tried using a vibrator during sex?

A: No I haven't

Y: Broooo I have so much second-hand anticipation right now

by Hloff October 6, 2021

Hand-cannon

Any 24 ounce beer or malt liquor that is on ice in the coolers when you enter a gas station or sold at professional sports stadiums

“Schuster had 7 hand-cannons during the Astros game last night, bro was loaded.”

by WhoaHeath June 12, 2018

Healthy Handful

As much as you can hold in your hand

Send me a healthy handful of zip ties

by Lord “P” October 23, 2018