carpet pole

A hairy penis.

She loved the cock so she took a ride on my carpet pole.

by Durtball283 April 26, 2014

Kicking the Carpet

The act of inserting one's foot into their partner's vagina

My vagina is sore. My boyfriend was really kicking the carpet last night.

by tree decorator October 3, 2014

Smokey Carpet

The act of giving or receiving oral sex from a person who has undergone a tracheodomy (aka the smoker's hole).

Melissa gave me a smokey carpet for 3 hours. Thank God she had that surgery or else she would have choked!

by Harold Chastington III Esq. November 13, 2011

carpet douchebagger

In many ways, this is a step up from douchebag or bag of douche you all commonly know.

carpet douchebagger - n - kar-pet doosh bag-err

1. In reference to carpetbaggers of Civil War era, going about causing trouble in the eyes of the locals

2. Someone who is a DB to such an extent that they seem to carry their supply of douche with them where ever they go.

Hey Red, this guy next to me is talking shit about the bartender and is screwing with the remote after every commercial! To top it off, he didn't even tip! What a carpet douchebagger!

by Slim Twofingers February 9, 2010

carpet shark

A horrible cat which likes to launch sneak attacks upon the feet and ankles of unsuspecting humans.

OUCH! That blasted CARPET SHARK!!!

by Ron Smackwalter August 10, 2007

Carpet Ass

Someone with a really hairy ass and that you can't see skin for the obstruction of hair.

If I shaved that ass I'd be able to make a Persian rug from it dude!

Total carpet asser...we could open a shop with that ass!

by Fanny Hurts May 13, 2006

Carpet Angel

An extremely attractive lesbian.

"Damn, that girl is hot!"
- "Yeah, too bad she's a carpet angel."

by Septiv May 15, 2011