by PlumberGuz August 16, 2010
Get the Captain Obviousmug. Is a puke that is self important with one or more tragic character flaws. Usually these pricks pretend to be all about the war but have some piss poor excuse for not going but every reason in the world any other male might go. This type of asshole will listen to and pretend to understand rap. He will be anti-Semitic but not understand what a Jew is from a hole in the ground. He will have a real big time problem with "jack offs" despite being the worst possible kind of jack off. They also have a real problem with fat boys and take the controversial stance of being against "perverts" or "pedophiles" three times an hour. Captain fucks might also be known as one legged scuba divers if they are veterans or pretending to be veterans. Captain fucks are almost always rich boys, yuppies, red necks and/or pussy fucking old farts. A female that might act like this is not called captain fuck. She is just a cunt.
Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute from the TV show The Office are cutesy, watered down, safe for TV captain fucks.
by captain fuck May 11, 2010
Get the captain fuckmug. emaciated small asian concubine, occassionally drips slime off of body. Loves to violate animals of all kinds ranging from trolls to insects.
Distinguishing characteristics:
1. Loves to run around without pants
2. Has dry chapped skin usually covered in Cetaphil
3. Has extremely ugly face contortions
4. Has frisky hands
5. Enjoys small dogs, especially ones that can't get away
6. Emaciated.
However, Captain fugly has the occassional nice..ness...
which makes her very loveable and cuddly...if you want to start bleeding.
Also answers to the name:
JIAJIA
Captain foogly
No seriously shes cool.
<3 JIAJIA
Distinguishing characteristics:
1. Loves to run around without pants
2. Has dry chapped skin usually covered in Cetaphil
3. Has extremely ugly face contortions
4. Has frisky hands
5. Enjoys small dogs, especially ones that can't get away
6. Emaciated.
However, Captain fugly has the occassional nice..ness...
which makes her very loveable and cuddly...if you want to start bleeding.
Also answers to the name:
JIAJIA
Captain foogly
No seriously shes cool.
<3 JIAJIA
by Lehsah January 2, 2008
Get the Captain Fuglymug. A lame superhero from the Ratcher and Clank series. Wears green spandex with a lightning bolt on his chest and had sex with a monkey in one of the games in the series. He loses his reputation and somehow gains it back over and over during this whole series. He got angry at Ratchet and is quoted saying "He is definitely off my top 5" referring to myspace.
Qwark can be related to The Green Lantern or Aquaman, stating that he can barley do shit and should not be considered a superhero.
Qwark can be related to The Green Lantern or Aquaman, stating that he can barley do shit and should not be considered a superhero.
Captain Qwark: I am Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero of the galaxy.
Ratchet: Yeah Yeah.
Rachet 5 seconds later: *Shoots*
Ratchet: Yeah Yeah.
Rachet 5 seconds later: *Shoots*
by TacoMann May 26, 2009
Get the Captain Qwarkmug. this describes anyone who has used a cucumber as a sexual instrument(usually through the rectum) rather than a vegetable
random guy: ''hey! how long do you take in the bathroom man''
other random guy (in bathroom): ''umn.....not long'' (groans)
1st random guy: (opens bathroom door and witnesses a large cucumber hanging from the other random guys ass with a dumbstruck look on his face)
''oh my god, CAPTAIN CUCUMBER, i knew it!
other random guy (in bathroom): ''umn.....not long'' (groans)
1st random guy: (opens bathroom door and witnesses a large cucumber hanging from the other random guys ass with a dumbstruck look on his face)
''oh my god, CAPTAIN CUCUMBER, i knew it!
by the enchanted lemon of hermitage October 15, 2007
Get the captain cucumbermug. A variation of Captain’s Pick, which in the original definition, is an unqualified and unknown/untested guy who is plucked from obscurity (by the head honchos) and helicoptered into a role within a work team, which is way, way out of his league.
This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.
That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!
All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.
So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
This same guy, has neither been peer accepted or consulted-passed - nor will he ever be, coz he is so developmentally challenged that he will never progress, yet still enjoys the privilege of patronage by the top brass.
That’s the original definition, but the pun version (Captain’s Prick) has this same guy having the added dimensions of being obnoxious to the team, never contributing to team effort and what’s more…. he dogs others to the Captain just to get himself and the charade (of his competency) ahead!
All these, while never being made to be accountable for anything himself, coz he is inexplicably endorsed from above (due to the nature of his appointment) and so he is allowed to remain the way he is, indefinitely.
So much so that the others, either start leaving the job or have fantasies of leaving or at worse… have disturbing fantasies of overpowering him and hog tying him up and dumping him into a giant vat upon firewood and setting it to boil (muahahahaha!).
The big bosses at my GF’s workplace not long ago, ushered in “Jason” into the role of Team Manager- he is an untested nobody whose last position was as a mailroom boy.
But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.
Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.
Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.
Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!
But he has a glib tongue which convinces the top brass that he is made for greater things.
Jason turns out to be a real Captain’s Prick.
Due to his incompetence, unhelpfulness, nastiness and treachery, he has upset so many people that just last month, within the space of just one week: Jan, Steven, Cynthia, Robert and Melissa all quit in disgust.
Now there is just 2 left in the team - my GF being one of them - she comes home crying to me every night!
by BentoBoxHanz June 26, 2022
Get the Captain’s Prickmug. There are a number of ways to become a Pimp Captain. For example, if you moon walk on your knees, back-hand a pimp three times consecutively, hire your wife as your hoe then divorce her but keep her as your hoe, etc.
by Officer Jimmy December 29, 2010
Get the Pimp Captainmug.