Skip to main content

John

If your Dad's name is John than he is probably an impostor trying to kill your whole family. If you see any person named John with a knife then you should probably run. If you hear someone say hey john it means, than it probably means that that person who knows that John, is probably he's next victim. If your talking to someone and they say there name is John I would recommend running away. If your dad's name is John, chuck him out a window before he kills you whole family.
by factstho March 21, 2021
mugGet the John mug.

Luka Dylan John Jarvis

Shorter than a hagenisse
by SNobben33 April 1, 2019
mugGet the Luka Dylan John Jarvis mug.

Discount John Cena

An employee of an industrial supply company who always wears a dirty athletic fit shirt. Although he's constantly in the gym he cannot seem to make any gains in strength or size.
"Yo, this dude looks just like a discount John Cena! Everyone look, it's discount John Cena!"
by King Unicorn August 31, 2017
mugGet the Discount John Cena mug.

John-Fakte/John-Behaviour

John-Fakte (John-behaviour in English) is the official name of the disease of always wanting to touch or destroy everything in sight. The official name, "John-fakte" is Norwegian, and originates from the person who "invented" the disease, John TV. (His last name will always remain a secret). The disease spreads very fast, and in the worst case scenario, it can destroy other people. There is currently no cure in existance for the dangerous disease, doctors are still working hard. If a person has the "John-Behaviour", he/she will typically try to annoy you and destroy your belongings, especially technology.
"Dude, what happened to my computer? I just left it here on my desk, and now it's destroyed!"
"It might have been the rare John-fakte/John-Behaviour!"
by Verngris June 11, 2019
mugGet the John-Fakte/John-Behaviour mug.

John Hancock

Girl1: my boyfriend hasn't had sex for awhile and he has been in the bathroom more often
Girl2: mm gurl yo man is either a John Hancock or he cheaten On u
by C0mm0n s3ns3 July 23, 2018
mugGet the John Hancock mug.

john clancy

the manliest woman known to men. Massive thot. Huge posterior. Has intimate relations with instruments and men named eric.
Look away Jimmy, John Clancy's over there
by STOPTHOT May 19, 2018
mugGet the john clancy mug.

John

John is probably disassociating right now. Slipping in and out of dismal self doubt and a mind void of thought or reason. A small drop of drool escaping the corner of his mouth catches his attention and, for a brief moment, he is aware of himself. Numbly, he checks his email to see if his favorite store has a discount code for something he might find vaguely interesting. Buying and consuming is one of the few ponds of dopamine not yet fully dried up in the barren desert that is his sinking consciousness.

A chime sounds off. He is receiving a call.

He is excited more now than he has been all day!
Rushing to flush the toilet and wash, he checks the number. It is unknown.

“Hello? John speaking!” He barks, almost dropping his cracked iPhone 7.

“Hi John, can you hear me?”

A sweet voice coos from the line.

“Yes, of course! What can I do for you?”
He says curiously.

“Hi John! My name is Anna. We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.”
...
John? It’s a fucking name, just use it like any other.
by SomeoneAnyoneJustNotJohn November 22, 2021
mugGet the John mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email