Dookie diarrhea hand job

When you take a solid turd and give it a handjob with diarrhea as the lube.

I was bored so I did a dookie diarrhea hand job with my homies.

by Dookiediarrheahandjob February 12, 2022

One hand Jackson

Masturbating

"My mom caught me pitching a one hand Jackson."

by gayboyadvance March 4, 2015

hand jiver

Slang expression for a (usually male) masturbater.

The said individuals nocturnal inclinations tend to suggest that he is a first class hand jiver.

by Kingcobrakenny October 27, 2017

semen hand

One's hand after one finishes jacking off.

President Trump jacked off before he gave the State of the Union Address. During his speech Trump was making a lot of hand gestures. Semen was flying all over 'cause Trump did not wash up after spanking the monkey. The Pres had a clear case of semen hand.

by Donald Cowboy Cerrone February 2, 2018

Hand Pussy

What lonely boys use in order to get off when they’re craving real pussy.

Drake S: Hey Isaac, heard you’ve been getting lots of pussy lately?
Isaac B: yeah, about to run out of lotion from all this hand pussy.

by Donnie Drakko August 4, 2022

scrumpy hands

A tradition in New Zealand. Where someone who is drinking scrumpy cider, tapes a 1.25L bottle either hand and is not allowed to remove them until they have finished the aforementioned bottle/s.
Typically popular in hospitality and university parties.

"Yo josh, did you see that noa is doing scrumpy hands tonight?"
"Lets hope he can finish them before needing to piss"

by Andrew Little December 17, 2023

Bear Hands

"With covid misinformation"

Hym "I'm not using your kids. You are using your kids. Stop using your kids. This is about submission to parents and you're never going to stop if you aren't made to stop. And I'm never going forget that stabbing a kid just balances the scales immediately. And the 'Bear hands' thing is the same exact thing! As the 'with covid misinformation' talking point? So I guess propaganda."

by Hym Iam March 2, 2025