Split Screen Reality Wank

When you have a wank over someone you know who looks like an actress in a porn film. You split your screen to show the woman you know on one side of the screen (perhaps a Facebook photo) and the porn video with actress who looks like her on the opposite side.

Brian: "You coming down the pub mate?"
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."

by Jimmy Peters August 5, 2016

Back to reality

Back to work on aMonday morning 😓 after a 2 day blackout

Shut up and go back to reality. Enough of your weekend boozing, proles.

by Sexydimma March 27, 2022

reality

1) Is what you come back to after saying something completly insane.
2) whatever you are doing right now.

1) First person: "who am i?"
Second person: "reality you goon"
2) staring at another persons definition of reality when you are clearly not in it.

by Lozzza September 1, 2006

reality shifting

reality shifting is when mentally ill teenage girls think its possible to move your subconscious from this reality to another using different methods. it became popular on tiktok in 2021 from posts of teenagers claiming they went to hogwarts. what this actually is is lucid dreaming. lucid dreaming is a dream that feels real, and you can control different elements of it. reality shifters refuse to believe that reality shifting is the same thing as lucid dreaming, and their main argument is that reality shifts can last for months. many of these people are simply lying, however the brain can trick you into thinking dreams last months. if a reality shifter ever tells you they can shift for months or years at a time, tell them to learn a new language by tomorrow. this completely shuts down their point as they will not actually be able to learn a language in one dream.

if you have gotten interested in reality shifting and know it's not real but wish it was, do some research on lucid dreaming! it feels completely real and has lots of scientific evidence.

mentally ill teenager: i was reality shifting last night, and it really worked! i shifted to hogwarts last night!
person with an iq above 50: you mean you lucid dreamt last night?
mentally ill teenager: NO!! IT WAS A REAL REALITY!!
person with an iq above 50: okay emily...

by bigfella23432 January 14, 2022

Grounded in reality

What the democratic party is not in terms of following their own imposed rules during the covid 19 pandemic

Gretchen Whitmer is not grounded in reality.

by Sexydimma June 6, 2021

realtor

festering hemorrhoid

This realtor make it really uncomfortable to sit.

Flipped her over and saw a realtor staring right at me,

by therealgreg October 7, 2011

realtor

the only human you have ever met that you can see yourself doing anything with
holding hands, scratching each others eyes out (figuratively speaking), attending a funeral, having a baby, sueing the government, frenchkissing, hiking, grocery shopping, argueing, sexing, singing, hustling, cleaning, travelling, undressing, defending, offending, hugging, loving, marrying

"you, yes you, reading this right now, you are my realtor. lets go for the swim" 🖤

by Krkič September 20, 2019