reputation masturbation

Attempt to inflate ones own image by claiming you've slept with a woman you really just masturbated to. Typical female subject way out of your league (see: Reputation Urination).

Frequent acts of Reputation Masturbation may result in fapnapping. Typical offender lives vicariously through dude bro friends who actually get laid.

Dude bro: you see that hottie Katie on the second floor yet?

Offender: hell yea bro, I banged her last weekend
Dude bro: you mean you banged your hand and fapnapped last weekend. Classic case of reputation masturbation.

by Kadence W December 14, 2013

Synchronized Masturbation

Planning masturbation at the same time as your counterpart. Not necessarily in the same room, synchronized masturbation can be done over text, video chat, ect. Pictures and videos are often exchanged during synchronized masturbation.

Guy 1:"Dude, me and April were doing synchronized masturbation last night!"
Guy 2:"Did you get any picture?"
Guy 1:"Nah man, better, I got a video. I chummed hard man!"

by Short Kicker August 19, 2014

cinematic masturbation

A movie which has excessive action and may potentially make you feel good but you may experience a high level of guilt or remorse having watched the movie.

Cinematic masturbation movies include 2012, Transformers, GI Joe, Doom, Alien vs Predator

by SamYam November 20, 2009

masturnation

when you use the flag of the united states of america to clean up jizz after you masturbate

oh that was a squirter. good thing i have my flag right here so i can be a masturnator and practice masturnation

by authorofthedictionary November 20, 2010

Macterbation

Macterbation (mack-tur-bait-shun) or Macterbating (verb) Is the act of obsessing yourself in apple products to the point you damn near bust a nut. So deep in MacBook Pros, iPads, iPhones, that it's become a major part of your life tinkering with apple products. Literally to the point of suspected viagra abuse because your friends are concerned over the fact that you spend hours on end in front of a laptop, tv, tablet or cellphone with a mega huge raging boner. This is a serious condition and there will probably be some sort of walk for it one of these days... Be ready.

You walk in to see your bro shacked up in bed; laptop on chest surfing Steve Jobs memorial websites, apple tv "airplaying" off the iPhone in the background, crushing the book on a tablet no more than a fingers "poke" away and blaring iTunes (probably the beetles or bob dylan) in the pitch black dark of your parents basement totin' a black turtle neck tee and maybe sipping a pinot grigio. Straight up Macterbation sesh

by Brozay Cuervo March 28, 2012

masturcation

to masticate (eat) and masturbate at the same time.

I had to make the meeting at three, and there was not time to eat and masturbate, so i masturcated.

by djtrurasta May 13, 2005

medical masturbation

Medical cure for blue balls outlawed in many states as a result of the war on penis.

Off the record, the doc can tell you what shit needs to get done.

Patient: Doc, my balls hurt real bad.

Doc: Groovy, it looks like you need the medicine of love.

Patient: ???

Doc: I am prescribing medical masturbation maaaaan.

Patient: I fucking love you!

(Patient hugs Doc)

Doc: Just doing my job.

by M.H.Y. July 25, 2009