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The Embalmer’s Mercy

The Embalmer’s Mercy refers to a rare and disturbing postmortem phenomenon where a freshly embalmed corpse retains just enough warmth, pliability, or fluidity to allow for ritualistic sexual desecration — such as crezzing or snurling — to be performed more easily and “welcomely.”

Some believe it’s intentional, a silent blessing from the mortician. Others believe it’s spiritual consent from the dead. In either case, the Mercy is considered a sacred sign — a bodily softness that defies the chemicals meant to preserve and deny.

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Common signs of the Mercy include:

A corpse's nipples or thighs still faintly warm

Jaw or orifices remaining soft after embalming

Fluid leakage without stimulation

An unexplained twitch or “invitation” under candlelight
“The mortician swore she was sealed, but I saw fluid glisten on the satin liner. The Embalmer’s Mercy is real.”

“Clayton only crezzes if the Mercy presents itself. He calls it ‘ethical embalming.’”

“Tom felt warmth in her throat after 18 hours on ice. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Saint Formaldehyde,’ and began the ritual.”
by Crusty smeglord July 23, 2025
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The profound shame associated with being swindled out of your life savings by some shit college only to be offered a $40,000/year job after graduation, all while the faggot billionaire class squanders our tax dollars amongst themselves.
What a total and absolute disgrace the American Embarrassment Experience is! They found a way to bring back indentured servitude to America!
by Publius0987 October 30, 2025
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pull an ebaum

Ignoring the fact that someone tried to prevent something from happening, and blaming them anyway.

The definition is based off of the cease and desist sent by ebaum’s world to ytmnd’s creator Max Goldberg about multiple YTMNDs criticizing ebaums world. Max had actively been removing these posts, and was annoyed at Ebaum’s world for not seeing this.
Todd sure did pull an ebaum when he said I took his watch, even though I was helping him look for it. Fucking Todd.
by Slimieboo November 7, 2018
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U.S embassy pizza

Absolute garbage pizza that no one should buy. It tastes like if you slept in wet socks.
Dontavius: Hey, im gonna get pizza lmao

Quandale: where

Dontavius: Im getting U.S embassy pizza
QUANDALE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by US embassy pizza February 14, 2022
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a heart embark

by th3_0 July 24, 2023
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You wouldn’t find that embarrassing

You wouldn’t find it embarrassing if people found out Jimmy Savile was a Jew? Don’t you think that would be embarrassing? I hope you guys do…otherwise I don’t want anything to do with you
You wouldn’t find that embarrassing
by Death Menace April 18, 2022
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