hug monkey

A love-addicted oddball monkey who will enthusiastically hug you until you can no longer get any air.

I felt the hug monkey squeezing me with all of its might... and then I realized it was going to kill me!

by Dr Bunnygirl May 23, 2020

Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
-
-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

Monkey Positive

Monkey positive means that your arm span is greather than your height.

That guy with the long arms, he must be monkey positive.

by JossyF March 17, 2011

Incest Monkeys

Two or more people who are closely related, that have a large amount of sex all the time.

Guy 1: "Did you hear about Jim and Kate?"
Guy 2: "Yeah bro, they totally had sex."
Guy 1: "Incest Monkeys."

by R.J. Harris September 2, 2011

monkey nigga

A black person that acts goofy.

Guy 1: guacamole penis hamburger sock
Guy 2: ayo stop acting like a monkey nigga

by Anonymthx January 29, 2021

ditch monkey

The lowest pecking order of social class. Someone who wouldn't hesitate to snort a line of cocaine off a toilet seat while giving a bum a hand job.

"If that worthless ditch monkey didn't smell like urine and heroin farts, I would offer to buy him a meal."

by Kneezel July 16, 2008

hip to the monkey

To be in the know. To know the scoop behind the scenes. To know what's really going on.

She told me they were all filled up, but I was hip to the monkey on their little scam.

by alex brinkman August 5, 2005