chinese assload

A special/scary type of lapdance, typically found in underground Asian bars:
A very large Asian woman, sometimes dressed as a sumo wrestler, who gives a lapdance to a man. The dancer throws a load of fried rice on the man's lap, then begins to give him a dance, which makes a chemical reaction in the dancer's asshole and inflates the ass like a balloon.
Sometimes performed by Asian men to women
"Mark went to China and hired a sumo wrestler to give him a chinese assload, but then he realized it was just Jamie!"

"I hear a chinese assload is the best lapdance you can ever receive at that bar in Chinatown. Better than any whore by far!"
by MMjr April 05, 2009
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Chinese Bagpipe

When you stick a bag up a girls vaginal region. Filling the bag with cum/poop/or anything else you can find. Afterwards when the bag is full you stick a pvc pipe down the bag, snugly tight. Then you blow into the pvc causing the bag to explode in her vagina.
Tina: Josh my vagina is all ripped up from the "Chinese bagpipe" you gave me a few nights ago.
by Chinese Bagpipe creator November 29, 2009
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Chinese Christmas

A game played at Christmas where everyone wraps any present they want and puts it in the middle of the room. Everyone who is playing receives a random number, which determine your order. Whoever is first must choose a present from the middle of the room and unwrap it. The second person can either steal the first persons present or choose another one from the pile. If your present is stolen then you have to choose another one from the pile. Once everybody has gone then you have to keep the present you end up with.
"Hey did you play chinese christmas?"

"Yeah, I got a a huge box of chocolates!"
by Jake Winger December 15, 2011
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Chinese espresso

Chinese espresso refers to the leakage of soy sauce used as lubrication during anal sex.
She is so hot, I would even drink her Chinese espresso.
by NightmanCometh September 24, 2009
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chinese democracy

Man everything that JLS do is very chinese democracy.

All chavs listen to is Crappy Chinese Democracy
by Mr. Grape February 13, 2010
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chinese auction

When your cheap relatives won't buy real Christmas presents and they find crap they don't want anymore around their house and you trade with each other.
It's supposed to be funny, gag gifts unless your family is made up of stale, cheap Jesus freaks.
Looks like that fat bitch Dianne took my halfway decent gift in exchange for the shit she found in the dumpster that is her house for the chinese auction.
by barack obama hillary is a man October 29, 2007
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chinese kiss

A kiss that's below the waist
Johnny gave me a Chinese kiss yesterday and it felt so good
by RainbowGirl23 December 04, 2015
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